You Get What You Deserve, Not What You Dream, Desire or Demand

Everyone has dreams.

Everyone has desires.

Everyone has demands.

However, you don't get what you dream, desire or demand.

You get what you deserve.

That's a sad reality of life.

Sometimes it may appear that someone gets things but are not truly deserving.

The truth, however, is that the one who decides to give is the one who also gets to decide whom to give.

For the giver, the one who gets from him is the one he thinks deserves that.

So how does one handle this kind of situation?

How to know whether you deserve to get what you dream, desire or demand?

Well, there is no secret recipe.

The right way to handle this is focus on what is in your control and to consciously ignore what is not in your control.

What actions you take are in your control.

What happens after you have done what you did is not in your control.

The right to handle this is, then, to focus on only one thing.

That one thing is  - actions you should take!

Focus on what you ought to do and do those things.

That's it.

Forget the rest.

Whether you get what you dream, desire or demand or you don't, you stay composed.

Neither win nor loss should elate your or shatter you.

You become like a monk who just does his stuff.

You become someone who doesn't care about the stuff that might come your way.

You become "Arjuna" who is told to focus on taking the right actions for the rightful reasons and not fret about the consequences of those actions.

An earlier post titled Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan dwelt upon this at great length.

In summary, Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan, is the mantra to follow.

How to Know for Sure the Company You Work at is a Highly Unprofessional Lala Company?

It is Friday evening.

You are at work in what you think is the last meeting of the day.

All of a sudden someone walks inside your room with a sick swag.

This person is carrying a foul-smelling smugness, conceit and stupidity on her face.

You are told someone has said something needs to be done on Monday.

You are not given a choice.

You are not given a chance.

For you this is supposed to be just FYI - for your information.

At that time many of the words and phrases depicted in the picture below run across your mind.

So what is the key takeaway for you?

Just one - you are not at all important.

You do not matter.

The person who walked inside your room matters.

Also those two who told him what needs to be done also matter.

Others folks are inconsequential.

You are the other folks.

You get a sick feeling in your stomach.

This is not the first time you have experienced this kind of non-sense.

You get up.

You say "yes".

You know you can't say "no".

And you also very well know saying "no" is meaningless.

The person and those two who told this person are all one and the same.

They are idiots and asses likewise in cahoots with each other.

The two gentlemen who pretend to be professional and polished are just the opposite.

They are highly unprofessional and dirty at the core.

At that point you sort of give up.

You know you are in a strange situation.

As you pack your bag and walk down to the car parking area a funny thought crosses your mind.

What kind of a company are you in?

And as you drive out of the office building you suddenly get the picture clear in your mind!

What the hell.

You knew all the way, since the day one, what kind of a company you were in.

Highly unprofessional.

Totally lala company.

There is no way you could have ever missed that.

The signs of trouble in the fake paradise, your company is, were always there for you to see.

The henchman of the two idiots is not an employee but a servant.

This person does all their dirty work.

There is no distinction between professional and private matters.

Everything is fair in a lala company.

There are no rules in the real sense.

The biggest lala of them all expects loyalty, blind loyalty.

You feel relaxed immediately.

You know what all you have been through all this while.

And you also know what is the real truth behind the false facade.

Accept it.

You are in a highly unprofessional lala company.

That's it.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

And what happened this time will happen again.

And again.

And yet again.

How You Solve A Problem Tells What Kind Of A Person You Are

Problem solving is an essential life skill.

This skill is really one of key differentiators between what makes one person very successful and the other not that successful or even not at all successful.

So what kind of situations typically come up in the life for any person.

Broadly speaking, there are five types of situations.

And based on what level of problem solving ability a person demonstrates in these situations, people can be broadly classified into five categories.

• Genius - can see things quite clearly and for any given situation can think in several dimensions as if she has multiple brains
• Intelligent -  needs to be told what the problem exactly is but can think of different ways to solve a problem
• Average - needs to be fed the approach right into the mind but can figure out the solution there after
• Idiot - needs to be told what the solution exactly is but can understand what the solution exactly is and why the solution is the solution
• Hopeless - not able to understand the solution even after being told what the solution is and also, at times, not able to understand what the problem exactly was

Genius - a person can be considered genius provided she, in a given situation, is able to:

• First of all, figure out and define what the exact problem is
• Then, think of the approach to solve that problem
• And then, solve the problem using that approach
• And finally, arrive at the correct and the exact solution

Intelligent - a person can be considered intelligent provided she, in a given situation, is able to:

• First of all, receive the problem statement in a clearly articulated manner but be in a position to correctly understand what the problem exactly is
• Then, be able to think of the approach to solve that clearly articulated problem
• And then, solve the problem using that approach
• And finally, arrive at the correct and the exact solution

Average - a person can be considered average provided she, in a given situation, is able to:

• First of all, receive the problem statement in a clearly articulated manner but be in a position to correctly understand what the problem exactly is
• Then, also receive the approach that needs to be used to solve that problem but be in a position to understand what the approach to be used exactly is
• And then, solve the problem using that approach
• And finally, arrive at the correct and the exact solution

Idiot - a person can be considered idiot provided she, in a given situation, is able to:

• First of all, receive the problem statement in a clearly articulated manner but be in a position to correctly understand what the problem exactly is
• Then, also receive the approach that needs to be used to solve that problem but be in a position to understand what the approach to be used exactly is
• And then, also receive the solution to the problem derived using that approach but be in a position to understand what the solution exactly is
• And finally, understand why that solution is the correct and the exact solution for the given problem

Hopeless - a person can be considered hopeless provided she, in a given situation, is able to:

• First of all, receive the problem statement in a clearly articulated manner
• Then, also receive the approach that needs to be used to solve that problem
• And then, also receive the solution to the problem derived using that approach
• But finally, still not understand why that solution is the correct and the exact solution for the given problem and at times, at the end of it, not even be sure of what the exact problem was!

The above five categories are, as stated earlier, very broad-based.

Most of the people would generally fall between the above categories.

The above categorization, however, provides a neat framework to understand how people solve problem in response to a given situation.

Knowing which one you are may provide you deep insight into your own capabilities.

That way this would be quite useful.

So which one are you?

Haridwar Patri Market - Some Photographs

Here are some photographs from a recent family trip to Haridwar.

These capture the miscellaneous wares that one can find being sold in the Patri market in Haridwar close to the Har Ki Puri.

 

Yamunotri and Gangotri - Some Photographs

Here are some photographs from a recent family trip to Yamunotri and Gangotri.

These capture the snow-capped and other mountains and landscape that is so very unique to this part of India.

What Should You Expect From Your Spouse?

In a nutshell, what you should expect are just three simple things:

Love and affection 

Your spouse should really love you and have deep affection for you.

This would show you are important for your spouse.

Lack of this would mean:

• She would neither get physically intimate with you not reciprocate appropriately to your efforts to get physically intimate with her.
• She would resist and trivialize any display of love and affection.

Care and concern

Your spouse should care for you and should have lot of concern for your well-being.

This would show you really matter for your spouse.

Lack of this would mean:

• She would not bother to call you and check whether you are getting food properly and regarding your well being when you are away to another city, for short or long period.
• She is not at all concerned with your physical and mental needs but only about the needs of others.

Bonding and Understanding

Your spouse should have close bonding and good understanding with you,

This would show you and your spouse live like life partners and not room mates.

Lack of this mean:

• She has her own agenda and your priorities and expectations are immaterial to her.
• She is only interested in things that are important for her needs, and for her it is only she and there is no we

A Promotion Should Be A Promotion But Sometimes It Is Not

A promotion is a feel-good factor if nothing more or nothing else.

Sometimes, however, a promotion is only a feel-good factor.

In that case a promotion is not a promotion, in a true sense.

A promotion should be a promotion but may not be in certain cases.

So when is a promotion not a promotion?

First and foremost, what is a promotion?

A promotion is an event whereby someone is moved up to a higher level in rank or in position.

And there's a big catch here.

The higher level rank or position is assumed to have the following:

• Higher authority and power in matters of importance
• Higher level of responsibilities and accountability for the desired outcome
• Larger span of control and oversight

In many cases, however, the higher level or position would not translate into the above three and even if it does, it would not be effectively the case in reality.

A promotion in such cases yields into a higher position for the concerned individual but nothing really changes on the ground.

In the above case a promotion is not a promotion.

So there are situations when a promotion which should be a promotion is actually not.

The Funny Act of Salary Increments

Some organizations operate like a play unfolding on the stage where different acts get enacted, one scene after another.

The funniest act in the play is the one that concerns salary increments.

In some organizations, especially the small-sized ones, the salary increment process runs in parallel to and often in complete oblivion to the performance management process.

In such regressive organizations increments have to do more, and at times, only with loyalty to the top pig and number of years with the company.

Performance and contribution not only take a backseat in these organizations but many a times are actually thrown off the car itself!

The junior pigs discuss among themselves as to how the bounties of business would be distributed and shared.

The junior pig looking after human resources in the most inhumane manner is the cunningest and wickedest of them all.

He is a master manipulator who puts up the facade of fairness and transparency.

He is highly protective of his turf and guards it like a bloody dog.

He looks a like a straight-forward and nice guy but is a complete crook at the heart.

His process of determining base increment is fraught with mysteries and complete lack of transparency.

In the name of progressive approach he puts in a performance and compensation system that is opaque at the best and scandalous at the worst.

Increments are given on a basis that has no rhyme or reason.

The other junior pigs saunter in and our of his room.

Why saunter?

Its a family owned, regressive enterprise after all and everything is fixed.

The delivery junior pig doesn't say anything on any issue pertaining to the human resources junior pig.

After they are in the same party.

When the lights turn off, they are one and the same.

Both are stooges of the top pig.

In such organizations, certain junior pigs are asked to oversee areas they know nothing of and about.

The junior pigs are trusted pigs of the top pig.

The whole problem is with the top pig.

He has put in place a sick culture where loyalty rules.

And where pigs not only survive but thrive.

Pigs are abominable.

Junior pigs makes things worse.

If you are surrounded by junior pigs then you are in for interesting times.

You can never tell, but maybe you have a junior pig next door.

 A junior pig will always be that - a junior pig!

You got to be careful if you need to handle any.

Two Milli Minnows, Two Micro Minnows, Four Nano Minnows and the Pico Minnow

The micro minnows are the real manipulators in the system.

Both, the one who is the local man and the other man who is remotely located.

The remotely located micro minnow is another character.

More on that some other day.

You see the local micro minnow talking in the corridor very often with the four nano minnows.

The micro and the nano minnows talk in loud whispers, making non-intelligible sounds but statements that are simply stupid.

They are a small, secret group of unprofessional folks.

They are the ones who are responsible for the unprofessional set-up.

And not only that they are unethical too.

This kind of shit happens only in a small company.

A small company that thinks it is too big for its own small boots.

The micro minnow is particular about people attending events where those personally known to him would be attending.

Company's business affairs can go to hell.

Any why not?

Such a company is not a business enterprise but a family affair.

The spouse of the micro minnow is there in training paid for by the company.

The nano minnows are like dogs who wag their tails and slurp their tongue when they see the micro minnow.

Micro or nano, a minnow is a minnow.

Any time.

There are more minnows.

There is a pico minnow too.

This guy is a complete joker and a jest.

He is expert is licking the boots of the micro minnows and also the masters of the micro minnow, the milli minnows.

The pico minnow does all the personal work of the micro minnows and milli minnows.

At times of the nano minnows too.

But he can refuse to obey nano minnows.

This funny man does everything except the work done by a toilet hand  jet spray faucet.

He would usually and generally discuss silly and stupid stuff only with the micro minnow.

Then there are the milli minnows.

They are the ones having a good time.

They use the company as personal asset.

The pico minnow is their servant.