Showing posts with label Life & Philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life & Philosophy. Show all posts

मौत कि ओर अग्रसर - The Poem of Death in Hindi with English Translation

The Poem of Death in Hindi

मौत कि ओर अग्रसर, 
है मनुष्य निरंतर |

मौत है जीवन की आखिरी सच्चाई,
चाहे कोई समझा, या किसी कि समझ न आई |

मौत के सामने हर कोई है एक जैसा,
जीवन में हो चाहे, कोई भी कैसा |

मौत कर रही है हम सबका इंतज़ार,
तुम गए इस बार, हो सकता है मैं चला जाऊं अगली बार |

मौत के हाथ में है वह तीर कमान,
जिससे ज़िन्दगी में लग जाता है एक पूर्ण विराम | 

मौत से मनुष्य बच नहीं सकता,
भले ही कोई कहे, "मैं नहीं डरता!

मौत आएगी एक दिन,
पर कब, यह कहना नामुमकिन |

मौत आ रही है धीरे-धीरे तुम्हारी तरफ,
और तुम रहे हो पल-पल मौत की ओर खिसक | 

मौत को अगर हम माने ज़िन्दगी की तरह,
तो ज़िन्दगी को मौत बनने में होगा नहीं कोई कलह |

मौत को कर लो स्वीकार,
इससे बचने का नहीं है किसी को अधिकार | 

मौत का वह पल, 
होता है ज़िन्दगी से अविरल |

मौत के आगे ज़िन्दगी नहीं, 
हम चले जाते हैं न जाने कहीं | 

मौत कि ओर अग्रसर,
है मनुष्य निरंतर |



English Translation follows:

मौत कि ओर अग्रसर, (towards their death)
है मनुष्य निरंतर | (all human beings constantly move)

मौत है जीवन की आखिरी सच्चाई, (death is the last truth of life) 
चाहे कोई समझा, या किसी कि समझ न आई | (whether someone understood, or did not)

मौत के सामने हर कोई है एक जैसा, (in front of death, everyone is equal)
जीवन में हो चाहे, कोई भी कैसा | (in life, whatever one may have been)

मौत कर रही है हम सबका इंतज़ार, (death awaits you)
तुम गए इस बार, हो सकता है मैं चला जाऊं अगली बार | (you went away this time, I could be the one who may go next)

मौत के हाथ में है वह तीर कमान, (death bears that bow and arrow)
जिससे ज़िन्दगी में लग जाता है एक पूर्ण विराम | (which has the power to put a full-stop to life) 

मौत से मनुष्य बच नहीं सकता, (human beings can't escape death)
भले ही कोई कहे, "मैं नहीं डरता! (even if someone says, "I am not scared of it")

मौत आएगी एक दिन, (death will visit you one day)
पर कब, यह कहना नामुमकिन | (but when, no one can be certain)

मौत आ रही है धीरे-धीरे तुम्हारी तरफ, (death is slowly moving towards you)
और तुम रहे हो पल-पल मौत की ओर खिसक | (and you too are moving towards it very second)

मौत को अगर हम माने ज़िन्दगी की तरह, (if we can think that death and life are same)
तो ज़िन्दगी को मौत बनने में होगा नहीं कोई कलह | (then, when life turns into death, there is no issue)

मौत को कर लो स्वीकार, (accept death)
इससे बचने का नहीं है किसी को अधिकार | (you don't have the right to escape it) 

मौत का वह पल, (the moment of death)
होता है ज़िन्दगी से अविरल | (is the continuation of life)

मौत के आगे ज़िन्दगी नहीं, (there is no life beyond death)
हम चले जाते हैं न जाने कहीं | (no one knows where we go)

मौत कि ओर अग्रसर, (towards their death)
है मनुष्य निरंतर | (all human beings constantly move)

Why Death is the Ultimate Destination that We All Share and Why We should always Keep this in the Mind?

What is blessedness and bliss?

What is joy and happiness?

What is exuberance and ebullience?

What is exhilaration and elation?

All the above reflect a situation when a person is in a state of mind which is just opposite of being in the below state of mind:

  • sad and sorry
  • or low and down
  • or lost and helpless
  • or desperate and hopeless

So, how to be truly blessed and totally blissful?

The answer to this lies in just one word - death.



Death is the only thing that is true.

Death is the only thing that is there at the very end of the journey.

Death is the actual destination we all are constantly travelling towards.

Death is the only thing that really matters.

Everything we do, and do not do, everything we say, and do not say, everything is immaterial when it comes to death.

Whether you do something or not do, you will be dead one day.

Whether you say something or not say, you will be dead one day.

All the kings and emperors, all the accomplished artists, all the strong and the powerful, are nothing when they meet their death.

All the poor and pauper, all the notorious folks, all the weak and the pawns, are also nothing when they meet their death.

Whatever you may become in your life, and whatever will become of your life, is at the end, absolutely inconsequential.

The only thing one ought to do is to focus on living life, one day at a time, one day, next day and the next till you drop dead.

You being dead would not change anything and has not impact on the way the natural world operates.

You were born as a biological being and you will eventually die as a biological being.

Human beings are no special as far as the creator of the natural world is concerned.

Though human beings have somehow acquired this impression that human race is controlling the world.

We catch and put other animals in what we call as a zoo.

And as we build a zoo, we think that we are the supreme power running this planet.

This, however, is a naive assumption that we would like to think of as the most important truth.

That is, however, not a truth at all.

We are nothing.

Very simple.

Let us not think otherwise.

One earthquake here, one Tsunami there, the above assumption is knocked off its feet instantly.

We are there at the will of the natural world.

In all this chaos, knowing that we will be dead one day, gives us the right and the ultimate perspective.

We were dead for eternity and will again be dead for eternity.

Whereas, we are live for some time only.

So, never forget and always keep in the mind.

Death is the ultimate destination that we all share.

And he who always keeps this in the mind is truly blessed and totally blissful.


Don't Waste Your Time, Spend It Carefully on Things that Matter to You

Your life has an expiry date.

That means you have finite time at your disposal.

You might get this incorrect impression time and again that you have a lot of time in your hand.

And that you have many more years to go before you will drop dead!

However, that is not the case.

Once you are clear about this, you should exercise care and caution in how you spend your time.

If you do not spend your time on things that matter to you in the real sense, your time goes for a waste.


So, how do people end up "wasting" their time thinking mistakenly all along that they are "spending" it:
  • They attend training which is not really required
  • They attend meeting where they are not needed
  • They become a part of a networking group and indulge in unnecessary events and activities
  • They volunteer for things for which they should have refused to get involved with
  • They join groups and forums they should have stayed away from

What is the way to come out of this rut?

What is the way to ensure you spend your time and not waste it?

The key to this is to know the kind of person you are.

And what are the things that excite you and that you are truly passionate about.

Improving your understanding of and skills at the things you love is crucial.

Simply speaking, that is the only thing that decides whether your time was spent or was it wasted.

You should stop doing anything that you don't feel strongly about, or which does not excite you.

So, how can you stop "wasting" your time?
  • Stop attending that training which is not really required
  • Stop attending that meeting where you are not needed
  • Stop becoming a part of a networking group
  • Stop volunteering for things for which you should have refused to get involved with
  • Stop associating with groups and forums you should have stayed away from

Stop wasting effort.

And start spending it.

In both cases, you end up using the finite time at your disposal.

The difference is the impact it creates in your life.

If it helps to improve you in becoming better in something you love to do, then the impact is positive.

If it is anything else, it is a sheer waste of time.

Be prudent with your time and do only those things that you would really want to do.

And stay miles away from every other thing.

Don's waste your time.

Start spending it.

And do that right away.

Live Life One Second at a Time Since Some Second Will Surely be Your Last Second

Your life is nothing but a unique story of experiences of many seconds bundled and weaved together.

The key term is "seconds".

You may live for years and months but in reality, you live through many seconds for years and months.

You live your life across many seconds.

In fact, you live in seconds.

You came into existence at a certain specific second in eternity.

And finally, you will disappear into nothingness at another certain specific second in eternity.

Your life is the length of duration between the above two specific seconds.

That is why you should live one second at a time.

1, 2, 3, gone.

No.

Once again.

1, 2, 3, gone.

Still there.

Then once again.

1, 2, 3, gone.

And like that.

On and on.

Till you drop dead.

Living life one second at a time is the best way to live.

You should try your best to live in such a way that you live for as many seconds as you can but must always be ready and prepared to leave any second.

You should feel happy and blessed as you live through one second and must view the next second as your last one.

For a certain next second, you will absolutely be right!

And that next second will be your last second.

Are There Times When You Feel Unhappy, Dissatisfied and Anxious With Yourself?

Are there times in your life when you feel unhappy with your not so high or even decent position in the society, little or minimal power in your possession and the small, shallow, and not so deep purse that you carry?

Are there times in your life when you feel dissatisfied with what you have achieved or rather failed to achieve and who you have eventually come to become?

Are there times in your life when your feel anxious about the fact that you don't have many years to live and something bad may happen and derail your life and what is going to happen with you and in your life in the future?

Did you answer "yes" to all the three questions above?

If yes, that means you are a normal person.

You could be that common man one would very often come across on the streets outside and most other public places.

So why do you feel unhappy, dissatisfied, and anxious at times?

And why does almost everyone feel unhappy, dissatisfied, and anxious at times?

The answer lies in the fact that you are living your life assuming, quite mistakenly, that you ought to have some purpose in life.



And when that purpose is not met or poorly met, you will tend to feel unhappy, dissatisfied and anxious.

When you fail to achieve the purpose that you think you were born to achieve in our life, you end up thinking that the very reason for you to live is no longer there.

Hence, the feeling of being unhappy, dissatisfied, and anxious.

Let us talk a little more about the purpose of life.

The question "what is the purpose of life" is not the right question.

The right questions are:

"Why should life have a purpose?".

“Why should anyone and more so the nature be bothered about someone's life having a purpose?”

All animals are born, live through their life and eventually die.

Nature does not care who is born, who is alive and who is dead.

One animal has made it look like as if he is an exception to the above rule.

And that animal is human being.

Humans think their life is special and it ought to have some purpose.

Nature does not think so at all.

For nature all life is same.

A human life is no different or special than the life of any other animal.

If all human beings were to die at this very instant, the universe and the cosmos will continue to exist.

If all living beings also were to die at this very instant, the universe and the cosmos will continue to exist.

Sun will shine tomorrow as it is doing it right now and as it did yesterday.

Rivers will flow tomorrow as they are doing it right now and as they did yesterday.

Wind will blow tomorrow as it is doing it right now and as it did yesterday.

We think too much about having a purpose in life.

That thought is the basic reason for being unhappy, dissatisfied and anxious.

The best bet is to keep on doing things without worrying about the grander things like purpose.

This is best explained by Bhagavad Geeta, the sacred, holy, and ancient Hindu text.

You focus on Karma (work and duties) in accordance with Dharma (morals and righteousness) and do not bother about the Phal (results or outcomes).

So, what is the Mantra one should follow?

Do not get trapped by and in the mirage of purpose.

Focus on doing the right things and doing the things right.

Just that much is what truly matters.

Live each day with complete and sole focus on Karma and Dharma.

Also live each day as if it were your last day in the world.

And most certainly, you will be right on that one day which will be your last day.

If you live with no greed for any grander purpose, you will not feel unhappy.

If you live with no greed for any grander purpose, you will not feel dissatisfied.

If you live with no greed for any grander purpose, you will not feel anxious.

Leave purpose behind.

Focus only on following Dharma and doing your Karma.

The rest is all Maya, simply an illusion.

Big Bs You Should Avoid

How you carry yourself and how you conduct your affairs is an important attribute of your overall personality.

There are some personal traits that you should always avoid.

Interestingly, these attributes start with the same letter B!

These Big Bs are to be strictly avoided if you want people to like you.

Remember, on their own, no one would tolerate or accept these Big Bs.

Here is the list of the Big Bs you should avoid, always.
  • Bulldoze
  • Bully
  • Bargain
  • Blackmail
  • Badger



And here is what they mean and what they indicate about your personal traits.

Bulldoze:
  • clear (ground) or destroy (buildings, trees, etc.) with a bulldozer
  • This is the tendency to not let others express their views and thoughts and impose your whims and fancies on them. 
Bully: 
  • seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone perceived as vulnerable
  • This is the tendency to try to dominate others and make them feel intimidated of you so that they fall in line and follow your instructions.
Bargain: 
  • negotiate the terms and conditions of a transaction or an agreement between two or more parties as to what each party will do for the other
  • This is the tendency to make someone follow your wish by offering them some temptations by evoking their weakness for something.
Blackmail: 
  • the action of demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them
  • This is the tendency to force someone to follow your instructions by creating a situation where that person is left with no choice but to obey you.
Badger: 
  • repeatedly ask (someone) to do something; pester
  • This is the tendency to bug and bother someone by asking them the same thing again, and again and yet again.

Untimely Death by Suicide of a Young and Talented Outsider

Just a few days ago, a young and talented actor in the Indian film industry died by suicide.

This untimely death is apparently a case of an outsider quitting the game of life after getting deeply hurt and frustrated by the dirty politics of the "insider club".

The Outsider versus the Insider Club

His death is not only untimely but also a wake-up call for every industry and every organization.

Every organization and every industry has its rules.

Unfortunaterly, most of the important rules that truly matter always remain unspoken and unwritten.

One of them happens to be the ill-treatment, subtle or otherwise, of the outsiders.

There is this "insider club" whose membership is strictly restricted to the previleged ones.

There is a secret pact between insiders, who are the high and the mighty and the well-connected in the game!

Those who are well-connected get access to exciting opportunities and offers from the other insiders in that organziation and also that industry.

The well-connected get their first work related break and subsequent chances also quite easily without much sweat and much effort.

Eventually, the insiders become self-appointed gatekeepers and very consciously and maliciously ererct a formidable barrier for the outsiders.

The way outsiders are treated by the insiders reeks of the insiders' blatant hyprocrisy, discrimination, shallowness and arrogance.

Some organizations are infected more with this kind of sick and toxic culture.

The head of such an organization and those in the "insider club" try to create the fake facade of the organization as one big happy family.

But beneath the shining facade there are deep cracks and gaping holes.

Ultimately, it’s each to their own.

And outsiders are under constant threat for their very survival.

When you work in such an organization you know your future is at the whim of the top dog there, the proverbial ringmaster of the circus that organization actually is.

Most outsiders keep on struggling but survive and stay alive.

Some outsiders are able to withstand the discrimination and humilation and are able to make a mark for themselves.

And that happens despite the fact that the sharks of the "insider club" in such an organization try their best to stop the outsiders from moving up the ladder.

Some of the outsiders not only survive and succeed but move very high up to become an insider.

And unfortunately, they end up joining the "insider club" and start doing the exact bad things they vehemently hated when they were not a part of it.

But, come what may, some outsiders never become insiders. 

They are simply shown around the inside, and howsoever talented and deserving they migt be, they are never offered a seat on the high table.

So somtimes, it is possible that an outsider might say, "enough is enough".

And they decide to "quit" the game of work they are engaged in, which is better.

Or at times, the game of life itself, which, from a philosophical, moral and ethical standpoint, is not really a good thing to do.

It hard to say whethere dying by choice through suicide is an act of strength or an act of weakness.

What is not hard to say is that the culture and work environment which led to that is certainly a sick and toxic one.

The person who has departed will never come back.

It is also true that those who were instrumental in creating a sick and toxic culture and work environment for the departed person will also not be there forever.

They will also need to depart one day.

And that day is not as far away as they think it might be.

It could be the next week.

Or the next day,

Or maybe the very next hour.

So they ought to be ready.

The famous English proverb "you reap what you sow " may or may not come true.

And the "insider club" may never get the punishment for their acts.

The departed may never get poettic justice for what happended to him and why he chose to depart the way he did or was perhaps forced to go that way.

However, those in the "insider club" will carry a stained conscience to their death-bed if that means anything.

There are many more "outsiders" out there who are struggling and still managing to survive.

God bless them and given them the stength and hope to carry on.

God bless the departed too, those outsiders who chose to quite.

May their soul rest in peace.

God bless those in the "insider club" also for they too shall pass.

And when the time comes, may their souls rest in peace too!

Some People Don’t Live Up To Their Own Word

Some people lie, plain and simple.

Some people lie more than the others.

Some people tell a white lie.

Some people sound vey genuine but are like wolves in the sheep’s clothing.

Some people make you think that there are still some gentlemen left in this world.

Some people give you a ray of hope that things are not all dark.

Some people make you want to believe in the goodness of human race.

Some people make you feel humanity is still alive and kicking, albeit it may be half-dead.

Some people are cunning to the core and lie without any feeling of fear and remorse.

Some people take you on the path where you believe things are all rosy and then it turns out that the roses are all gone leaving the thorns behind.

Some people are habitual liars and wily creatures.

Some people are well-versed in the dirty art of manipulation.

Some people give you their word and then then fail to live up to it.

Some people can sleep in night with a bad conscience.

Some people have misfortune befall them on account of their own evil acts.

Some people loose more than they save by lying.

Some people get into trouble as a result of their own bad “karma”.

Some people might be elated at their acting smart but in the end bring ruin upon themselves.

Some people cheat you without any feeling that what they are doing is wrong,

Some people get punished because they trouble others.

Some people deserve to be punished because they cheat others.

Some people make you lose your trust on the inherent and innate goodness of living beings.

Some people choose to embracer misery and despair by doing bad unto others.

Some people are simply bad.

Some people are crooks and do things which they should not do.

Some people do bad things and then simply must wait for bad things happen to them.

Some people get punished because they lie.

Some people tell a white lie.

Some people lie more than the others.

Some people lie, plain and simple.

Some people don't live up to their own word.

I Am In The Line And You Are Also In The Line

All of us are in the line.

But which line are we talking about here?

It is the line of those who will eventually die.




















Everyone joins the line the very moment he or she or it steps into this world.

Never forget that.

Always remember, I am in the line and you are also in the line.

Nothing in this world is yours and nothing is mine.

We meander through life thinking all along that we will live for ever.

Life these days means just one thing, more and material success.

Success in today's world means name, fame and money and anything that others can see.

It is also sad that achieving material success in any manner and mostly by pushing others behind is supposed to be absolutely normal and in fact, considered to be highly desirable.

The connection of success with inner bliss and contentment doesn't mean anything.

In the end, however, material success, the whole of it, means nothing.

Whatever we achieve, immerses itself into nothingness.

Whatever we have, translates itself into meaningless.

The moment we realize that we are in the line and subsequently act with that realization, we will transcend ourselves from the happiness we get from material success to a state of real inner bliss and contentment.

It does not not mean that we don't need any "material" to live.

It just means that life is not meant to merely acquire "material" but rather life is meant to use "material" judiciously to achieve something far bigger and far better.

The above is like the role of Oxygen for human beings.

Human beings need oxygen to live, they don't live so that they get to inhale oxygen!

Knowing fully well, and at every instant, that we are in the line and also knowing fully well that one day our turn will be over provides a very powerful framework for living life.

You necessarily need to acquire some material to ensure you get a certain level of physical and mental comfort as you stand in that line.

However, as you stand in the line, you look above and beyond the notion that you need to live to acquire material success to the notion that you need to use material to live a better life.

Our days, as we stand in the line, are numbered.

We never count that though.

Let us assume a person were to live for 100 years and is 44 years old now.

That means she has spent approximately 16060 days and has another 20440 days to go.

The number 20440 is finite and will come to an end.

That is 100% certain.

Of course, at times, one can get priority treatment and may have to leave the line much earlier.

Given all of the above, it makes complete sense not to think that you are going to be around for ever.

It is totally sensible to live a life where you can achieve inner bliss and contentment.

How does that help?

It helps in just one, big way.

If you are blissful and content, you are always prepared to leave the line and merge yourself instantly into the nothingness, from which only you had actually come.

Bliss means there is nothing more you would like to do and acquire and achieve.

You are at peace and at ease with what you are at that moment and at every moment.

So if material success keeps on calling you and you don't realize at all that there is something beyond it then you must never forget the below.

Always remember, I am in the line and you are also in the line.

Nothing in this world is yours and nothing is mine.

When You Develop Infatuation For Your Subordinate

In your life, just like in every one's life, on one hand, you have your own set of needs, desires and dreams and on the other hand, issues, challenges and disappointments.

On the professional front, you are very good, in fact excellent, at the work you have chosen in your career.

Though you are good at your work and you really and passionately love what you do, the company and industry doesn't give much value to it since it does not generate cash for the business and the company.

You are actually stuck in your current organization since you have been trying, desperately too at times, but not getting anything better.

At the same time, you have reached the peak as far as your growth in that company is concerned.

You will never reach the next level in that company since it is a small shop run by a Lala and his coterie of old boys club.

In a Lala company, rules are followed or not followed, depending upon the convenience of the powers that be which includes the Lala and his stooges.

In fact, you shudder at the thought of going to the next level because then you have to be a "yes sir" person and be ready to do things that may not actually be quite ethical.

You see many folks, some of them reporting into you and some in other teams in that company who are just passing their time.

Many of these strange folks reach office late in a very leisurely manner, have multiple and long tea-breaks, have long post-lunch silly chit-chat breaks and leave dot at the close of official business day.

Basically doing a lot of non-sense at the expense of the company time but eventually wasting their entire life in trivial and silly stuff.

You are different and you don't do any of that non-sense.

However, you clearly realize that you have reached a point in your career where you work with zeal and passion only for yourself and not for the company.

So, at some level, you are happy with the current situation in your professional life.

Of course, things could have been better.

On your personal front, you are doing just okay.

You are married but not exactly happy with your spouse.

You believe in staying healthy so you take care of what you eat.

There are couple of physical wellness and health issues with you, some of which are genetic, that you have for quite some time and that you think you will be grappling with till the very end of your life.

You have high energy levels in all dimensions - physical, mental, spiritual.

Your have certain physical needs which come very naturally to you and you don't think there is anything wrong with that.

You are financially in a very strong position.

And you can actually retire tomorrow if you so wish.

One thing you always think of and that makes you feel settled and at peace with yourself is that "you will be dead one day".

The thought that your needs, desires and dreams and issues, challenges and disappointments are very transient and will disappear the day your die, makes you quite philosophical and at ease with your own self and your very existence.

However, overall, there are many things that bother you, make you unsettled and not at ease.

You feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied at times.

You also have several vulnerabilities.

And suddenly in the middle of all that is happening with you and around you, you get someone who joins your team.

You like that person though she happens to be your subordinate.

You very well know you can't cross certain limits as it will impact your professional life.

That person looks to be vulnerable and grappling with some personal and emotional issues.

As you see potential in that person from a competency point of view, you provide certain opportunities to her that you would have provided in any other case too.

You also start developing some sort of infatuation for that subordinate of yours.



Its hard to figure out the reason for that.

When you are with that person, you sometime have some thoughts which are somehow related to the emotional connect factors.

You even have physical attraction for that person.

However, you exercise complete control and caution.

You very well know the consequences that would follow if you were to cross certain boundaries.

That subordinate is not really very beautiful or attractive, but you find her to be attractive.

And you don't even know why it is so.

You like her sense of dressing and clothing.

You like her work-related competencies and performance.

You also have feelings for her due to her vulnerabilities.

You like the conversations you have with her.

You wait in the morning to catch a glimpse of her.

You like to be in meetings where she is  also there.

You even think of creating opportunities where you can be with her.

At the same time, you are different.

You are different and you don't do any non-sense.

You control your feelings, emotions, physical desires.

That is what you are.

You have needs, desires and dreams.

They do not control you though.

You are the one who is in complete control of your needs, desires and dreams.

That subordinate may go away tomorrow.

You know for sure that it will happen some day which may not be far away.

And you know it is just infatuation.

And you will be able to come around it.

It may result in you having some sort of feelings and thoughts which may bring you issues, challenges and disappointments

However, they do not control you.

You are the one who does everything possible to be in control of your issues, challenges and disappointments.

You may not fully succeed in that but you keep on trying your level best.

And then you realize you are just a simple, weak human being who is just trying to do your best to control what happens to you in your life.

The infatuation you have developed for that subordinate is something that you have to learn how to deal with.

You are clueless because the infatuation has come very naturally to you.

You think of getting closer to that subordinate and supposing she reciprocates your feelings, you even imagine that things would become more serious, and you would divorce your spouse and marry her.

That would not be alright though.

Or you may think of getting physically intimate with that subordinate and risk your professional life.

You very well know, in case things don't go the right way you may be in big trouble with respect to workplace harassment case being brought against you.

You also secretly wish you could get physically intimate with her and it stays just that way and stays just between the two of you.

You do know, however, that since she is not married, she may want any relationship of this sort to turn into a long-term commitment and marriage which may not be possible.

Also, you wonder, why would she be interested in getting physically intimate with you.

You have certain power over her and that may be all which is there but you might think of it as otherwise.

You may think you are getting some feelers at times but the signals could all be wrong.

Also, as you are very superior to her, she would do certain things on professional front simply because she reports into you.

When you develop such infatuation, it is a difficult situation to be in.

You have to be sensitive and sensible.

Let that infatuation remain just that.

Infatuation!

How Bewakoofi, Badtameezi, Badmaashi, Jaldbaazi and Laparwaahi Ultimately Result into the Same Thing

For understanding the deeper meaning of the title of this post, it is important to first and foremost understand the meaning of the following Hindi/Urdu words.

Bewakoofi - This means stupidity or idiocy.

Badtameezi - This means lack of good manners or uncouth behavior.

Badmaashi - This means doing a mischievous or malicious act.

Jaldbaazi - This means undue hurry or haste in doing something.

Laparwaahi - This means carelessness or lack of attentiveness.

So what is that same thing which the above ultimately result into?

The answer is Nuksaan, which means harm or damage.

What kind of harm or damage we are talking about?

Nuksaan or harm or damage could be across one or more of the following dimensions:
  • Physical or bodily harm
  • Loss of peace of mind
  • Financial and material loss
  • Reputation loss

And how does that happen?

All the above first lead to one or more of the following:
  • You do things that ought not to be done
  • You do things that ought to be done but not in the way they ought to be done
  • You do not do things that ought to be done

All the above then, consequently and ultimately, result in some or other form of harm or damage.

If you are Bewakoof, you will do something stupid and invite harm your way.

If you are Badtameez, you will do something bad to others and invite harm your way.

If you are Badmassh, you will harm others and invite harm your way.

If you are in Jaldibaazi, you will not do things in the right way and invite harm your way.

If you are Laparwaah, you will forget to do the needful and invite harm your way.

What is the take-away from all this?

Very simple.

You ought to stay away from Bewakoofi, Badtameezi, Badmaashi, Jaldbaazi and Laparwaahi.

And thus ultimately manage to stay away from Nuksaan.

No Bewakoofi, Badtameezi, Badmaashi, Jaldbaazi and Laparwaahi, No Nuksaan.

You Get What You Deserve, Not What You Dream, Desire or Demand

Everyone has dreams.

Everyone has desires.

Everyone has demands.

However, you don't get what you dream, desire or demand.

You get what you deserve.




That's a sad reality of life.

Sometimes it may appear that someone gets things but are not truly deserving.

The truth, however, is that the one who decides to give is the one who also gets to decide whom to give.

For the giver, the one who gets from him is the one he thinks deserves that.

So how does one handle this kind of situation?

How to know whether you deserve to get what you dream, desire or demand?

Well, there is no secret recipe.

The right way to handle this is focus on what is in your control and to consciously ignore what is not in your control.

What actions you take are in your control.

What happens after you have done what you did is not in your control.

The right to handle this is, then, to focus on only one thing.

That one thing is  - actions you should take!

Focus on what you ought to do and do those things.

That's it.

Forget the rest.

Whether you get what you dream, desire or demand or you don't, you stay composed.

Neither win nor loss should elate your or shatter you.

You become like a monk who just does his stuff.

You become someone who doesn't care about the stuff that might come your way.

You become "Arjuna" who is told to focus on taking the right actions for the rightful reasons and not fret about the consequences of those actions.

An earlier post titled Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan dwelt upon this at great length.

In summary, Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan, is the mantra to follow.

What Should You Expect From Your Spouse?

In a nutshell, what you should expect are just three simple things:

Love and affection 

Your spouse should really love you and have deep affection for you.

This would show you are important for your spouse.

Lack of this would mean:
  • She would neither get physically intimate with you not reciprocate appropriately to your efforts to get physically intimate with her.
  • She would resist and trivialize any display of love and affection.
Care and concern

Your spouse should care for you and should have lot of concern for your well-being.

This would show you really matter for your spouse.

Lack of this would mean:
  • She would not bother to call you and check whether you are getting food properly and regarding your well being when you are away to another city, for short or long period.
  • She is not at all concerned with your physical and mental needs but only about the needs of others.
Bonding and Understanding

Your spouse should have close bonding and good understanding with you,

This would show you and your spouse live like life partners and not room mates.

Lack of this mean:
  • She has her own agenda and your priorities and expectations are immaterial to her.
  • She is only interested in things that are important for her needs, and for her it is only she and there is no we

Why It Is Utter Nonsense To Think That You May Be Killing Yourself For A Job That Would Replace You Within A Week If You Were To Drop Dead

Some people might seem to suggest that it is a good idea to relax and take care of yourself in case you are working too hard.

This is fine.

You must take care of your physical and mental well-being at all times.

No only when at work but also when not at work.

Some people might also seem to suggest that you will get replaced within a week if your were to drop dead and hence you should not work hard.

This is just completely nonsense.

You will drop dead one day even if you don’t work at all.

If you enjoy your work and push yourself a bit occasionally and maybe push yourself hard once in a while, that should be alright.

Work accomplishments give you a sense of worth as an individual.

When you achieve something at work it makes you feel good about yourself.

And it is not that you are so busy every day that you can’t even find time to have your lunch.

So if you work hard once in a while, that shouldn’t be a problem at all.

Being relaxed is one thing. And it is okay.

Being complacent is another thing though. And it is not okay.

You have to have work in the first place to work.

And you have work because someone has given you one because you can contribute and add value.

If you need to work hard to contribute and add value you must do that.

You should not think of work as a mere time pass.

The above thought can be dangerous to your career and eventually life.

You can apply the standard tips and tricks to take care of work and life balance.

However, you should never forget that you need money to live your life.

And more money to live a better life.

And that you got to work to have money.

So if you want to live a better than usual life you need to work harder than usual.

Dropping dead is not a criteria that should bother you.

Working hard doesn’t have to necessarily mean dropping dead.

Although not taking care of yourself may mean dropping dead.

You should take care.

You should also work as hard as you can.

You should make as much money as you can.

And finally live a life as good as you can.

The thought that you will get replaced within a week if your were to drop dead and hence you should not work hard is just completely nonsense.

Just forget about that.

So enjoy your work.

Enjoy working hard.

Enjoy life.

Our Existence in this Universe is Purely Incidental, We Just Don't Really Matter!

All living beings - human beings, animals and plants - all of them, are purely incidental as far as the universe is concerned.

Even if no human being, animal or plant were there it won't really matter.

Not really. Not at all.

The Sun will be back every morning.

The Moon will be back every evening.

The Stars will carry on as if nothing was different.

The water in the rivers will flow as it does otherwise.

The winds and storms will happen as they happen.

Our existence in this universe is purely incidental.

We just don't really matter!

The universe is infinite, we are not, we are finite.

Not only our existence, our non-existence as well, after we die, also doesn't really matter.

So being born and eventually dying is actually a non-event.

In fact, the universe itself is incidental.

The primary thing is time.

Time is all powerful and the only thing that essentially matters.

Even if the mass in the universe and the universe itself were not there, that also won't matter.

Time will still march on.

Time will march on ahead with the blankness around it.

We are a function of time.

Today we are here (you are very well alive and in existence if you are reading this blog post at this very moment but I, the author of this blog post, might very well be dead).

100 years later we - both of us - will surely not be here (neither you, the reader nor me, the author of this blog post).

This blog post may remain there though.

It is possible that this blog post may not be there then, after 100 years.

And if ALL the living beings and non-living things in this universe cease to exist then this blog post will certainly not be there.

However, time would have marched much ahead by then.

Time will be there. Very much there.

Time itself is God.

It will always be in existence.

I will not be there after a certain point in time.

You will not be there after a certain point in time.

Universe may be there or may not be there after a certain point in time.

Only time would know what will happen to the universe.

Time, however, will be there for all time to come.

What Work Should I Do in My Life?

"What Work Should I Do in My Life?"

This is a crucial question staring at any student who is about to complete his or her schooling.

The reason above question is a crucial question is very simple and fundamental:

"After you are dead and gone, you would only be known by what work you did in your life!"

Like Warren Buffett would be known for being an investor.

Like Barack Obama would be known for being the President of the United States of America from 2009 till 2016.

Like Sir Donald Bradman would be known for being a cricketer.

So obviously, "What Work Should I Do in My Life?" is an important question.

The work one should do in one's life should depend upon three factors primarily:
  • The work is something in which one is reasonably good at
  • The work is something in which one is passionately interested in
  • The work is something that makes good enough money for a decent life
Let us talk about the above three in detail now.

The work is something in which one is reasonably good at
  • Ideally speaking, the work should be such that one should literally be able to do that work in sleep also!
  • Finding what one is reasonably good at is a matter of doing experiments in one's own life.
  • Trying different things would certainly be very useful in understanding one's inherent and innate capabilities and competencies.
  • Choosing a work that aligns with one's inherent and innate capabilities and competencies is the right way to go.
  • Of course, one may need to really work hard in a determined way before one can conclude either way about what work one is good at or not.
  • This is important because if one is good at something, one can easily find some job in a related area.
  • Not being good would mean one may not even be able to find related work!
The work is something in which one is passionately interested in
  • Ideally speaking,  the work should be such that one should literally enjoy that work so much that one wouldn't want to sleep and would want to do it even if one doesn't get any money for doing it!
  • The above aspect is essentially related to job satisfaction.
  • If one is good at something, one can surely find a job. However, one will not be satisfied and happy. One would in some sense drag along in life while doing work one doesn't passionately enjoy in the real sense.
  • An acid test for finding this out is to imagine that one is super-rich and has all the money one would ever need in life.
  • So in that case one wouldn't need to work for money at least. And if money is not a criteria then what would one want to do?
  • It is better to find an answer to the above and do that work.
  • One has to blindly assume that one can earn enough while doing the work one would want to do based on above test.
  • An of course, one could be totally wrong in making that assumption.
The work is something that makes good enough money for a decent life
  • All said and done, money has its importance. It may be the case that one may not live for money but one would certainly still need money to live!
  • This is the third leg of the stool of a life lived well.
  • One chooses to do something one is good at. One also chooses to do something one is passionately interested in. But is that enough?
  • Not really, since for a life lived well, one would need to able to take care of one's physical and material needs and comforts.
  • And money is very very important for assuring that. So choosing a work that pays well is equally crucial.
  • One should take care of this aspect also while trying to decide what work to do in one's life.
So the question "What Work Should I Do in My Life?" is definitely an important one.

The answer to this question indeed defines and is related to the very purpose of one's existence.

Birth, Life, Death, Cremation and Afterlife

The cycle of time makes every living object finally and precisely and exactly stop at where it started from.

Nothingness or pure soul.

We all start from nothingness to end at nothingness.

Whether it be Akbar the great emperor or Akbar the not-at-all great gardener at Rashtrapati Bhawan.

Whether it be Amitabh the great actor or Amitabh the not-at-all great junior artist in Bollywood.

For a living being the above journey is like moving forward along a circle to reach the starting point after some time when the journey would come to end, and perhaps another would start.

However, for time the above journey is like moving forward along a line. As circles come and go, and living beings are born and die, the march of time goes on, incessantly, always!

So what happens on the circle when you are dead.

Step1 - First you need something to help you reach the right place for cremation.



Step 2 - Then you reach the place for cremation.



Step 3- And then you get cremated, finally. You disappear in the Pancha Tatva or nothingness.



The Pancha Tatva or nothingness is the pure soul and the only and ultimate reality of life.

Life as a living being  is a finite space-time phenomenon which needs to have a full stop.

And death is really good in the sense that it serves as that full stop.

The full stop is like Moksha.

Death is a useful reality that way.

So accept it, welcome it, and embrace it when it comes.

Birth, life, death, cremation and afterlife - they all are really one.

They are one since they are different forms taken by the nothingness or pure soul.

Focus on good deeds or Karma needs to be your sole purpose in life since that is the inherent and true nature of pure soul.

What we do other than that is not important and won't really matter.

In the end only Karma counts.

You Get What You Deserve or are Destined to, Not What You Desire or Demand

Many a times you get this feeling that you truly deserved what you failed to get.

You believe you had everything going for you but then, in the end, something did not click for you.

The above happens too often, and with too many people.

Why does the above happen? Why with too many people? And why too often?

First, destiny plays an important role whether you agree with that or you don't.

Being the right person at the right place and the right time can change the outcome of many a life situations.

And the right person in a given life situation may not be you but someone else or maybe no one!

Also, what you deserve is what others really think you deserve. Not what you think you deserve.

What you desire or demand is usually what you think you deserve.

Your desire or demand is generally based on your own assessment of yourself in terms of your capabilities and competencies.

For whatever may be the reason, at times you think that you deserve something.

So you end up having a desire for that something

And not only that, sometimes you end up demanding that something because you really believe that you deserve it!

For all that matters in the end, you may not actually deserve it.

The reason might be very simple, however hard and heart-breaking it might be.

You are totally wrong in your own assessment of yourself.

Those who can give that something to you might think just the opposite of what you think.

That you actually don't deserve it!

Desire and demand have no value.

What you think you deserve is not what really matters.

What others think you deserve is what really matters.

And perhaps the only thing that really matters.

Don't Say, Don't Tell, Don't Ask, Don't Listen

What happens when your channels of communication with another person break down?

At least four distinct things happen.

You don't say anything to that person.

You don't tell anything to that person.

You don't ask that person for anything.

And you don't listen to that person.


Why would your relationship with a person come to such a stage where there is a complete breakdown of your channels of communication with that person?

There are many reasons.

The first reason is difference in the way you think versus the way the other person thinks.

You might think the relation between you and the other person should work in a certain way.

You might think something is important.

But the other person may think differently.

An example of this:
  • You may consider physical intimacy and sexual relations with your spouse to be a important bedrock for a happy and wholesome marriage.
  • However, your spouse would seem not to care at all about this.
  • This may result in verbal conflicts and disagreements.
  • That eventually leads to breakdown.

The second reason is the gradual building up of ego.

You slowly start thinking that why you should always initiate the communication with the other person. Especially when there is a temporary breakdown.

Temporary breakdown of your channels of communication with another person can slowly become permanent because of ego coming in the way.

An example of this:
  • After every minor fight with your spouse you might be the one who always initiates the first interaction to normalize the relation.
  • However, your spouse behaves in an odd way and is also never the one to initiate the thawing process.
  • So slowly you might come to a stage where you would say, "why should I be the first one, every time?". Your spouse might think, "why shouldn't you".
  • That eventually leads to breakdown.

The third reason is that you may slowly grow over the need to have any relation with a person.

Communication is necessary to build relation with another person.

If the other person doesn't respond in kind for very long you might grow over the need to continue any meaningful relation with that person.

And once you don't consider the relation with a person important the need to keep your channels of communication diminishes and at times would simply cease to exist.

An example of this:
  • You spouse refuses and avoids physical intimacy and sexual relations for silly reasons.
  • After several refusals and rejections you slowly develop your mental mechanism to start reacting in a certain way.
  • You develop the attitude, "I also don't care any longer. This is all over".
  • That eventually leads to breakdown.

And finally, you then enter the state where you "Don't Say, Don't Tell, Don't Ask, Don't Listen."

Key Pillars for Happy Relationships in Life - Concern, Connection, Camaraderie and Candor

Having happy relationships in life is supposedly a key factor that significantly influences whether your life will be long and good or not.

So how can you ensure that your relationships with others are truly happy and deeply fulfilling?

There are 4 Cs that go into making a relationship happy and vibrant.


Concern

This simply means being worried about other person's challenges and providing physical and emotional support as and when needed.

It also means doing things to take care of other's rightful expectations from you.

Concern is not just caring for physical needs of a person but his mental and spiritual needs too.

Looking after other's interests and likes and taking care of them in most situations is important for the relationship to survive, especially during the bad times.

Connection

This simply means being able to operate at par with the other person's wavelength and frequency.

Connection becomes a binding agent that keeps you close to the other person.

It is said that familiarity breeds contempt, but if the connection with someone is truly genuine, familiarity will make the bond stronger.

What makes it possible for a person to like another person despite deep awareness of that person's weaknesses, pitfalls and "not so good" traits is a genuine bonding with that person.

Also, no one is perfect. Neither that person. And nor you!

Camaraderie

This simply means enjoying each other's company and complementing each other in an overall sense.

No two individuals can think alike but if their thinking patterns are totally disjoint and disconnected there is no hope for camaraderie to even exist forget about it thriving.

Camaraderie gives a sense of purpose to your relationships with others.

Candor

This simply means being open, honest and frank with the other person.

Candor doesn't mean you can say anything that comes to your mind.

What candor means is you will say things when it would genuinely help the other person.