In your life, just like in every one's life, on one hand, you have your own set of needs, desires and dreams and on the other hand, issues, challenges and disappointments.
On the professional front, you are very good, in fact excellent, at the work you have chosen in your career.
Though you are good at your work and you really and passionately love what you do, the company and industry doesn't give much value to it since it does not generate cash for the business and the company.
You are actually stuck in your current organization since you have been trying, desperately too at times, but not getting anything better.
At the same time, you have reached the peak as far as your growth in that company is concerned.
You will never reach the next level in that company since it is a small shop run by a Lala and his coterie of old boys club.
In a Lala company, rules are followed or not followed, depending upon the convenience of the powers that be which includes the Lala and his stooges.
In fact, you shudder at the thought of going to the next level because then you have to be a "yes sir" person and be ready to do things that may not actually be quite ethical.
You see many folks, some of them reporting into you and some in other teams in that company who are just passing their time.
Many of these strange folks reach office late in a very leisurely manner, have multiple and long tea-breaks, have long post-lunch silly chit-chat breaks and leave dot at the close of official business day.
Basically doing a lot of non-sense at the expense of the company time but eventually wasting their entire life in trivial and silly stuff.
You are different and you don't do any of that non-sense.
However, you clearly realize that you have reached a point in your career where you work with zeal and passion only for yourself and not for the company.
So, at some level, you are happy with the current situation in your professional life.
Of course, things could have been better.
On your personal front, you are doing just okay.
You are married but not exactly happy with your spouse.
You believe in staying healthy so you take care of what you eat.
There are couple of physical wellness and health issues with you, some of which are genetic, that you have for quite some time and that you think you will be grappling with till the very end of your life.
You have high energy levels in all dimensions - physical, mental, spiritual.
Your have certain physical needs which come very naturally to you and you don't think there is anything wrong with that.
You are financially in a very strong position.
And you can actually retire tomorrow if you so wish.
One thing you always think of and that makes you feel settled and at peace with yourself is that "you will be dead one day".
The thought that your needs, desires and dreams and issues, challenges and disappointments are very transient and will disappear the day your die, makes you quite philosophical and at ease with your own self and your very existence.
However, overall, there are many things that bother you, make you unsettled and not at ease.
You feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied at times.
You also have several vulnerabilities.
And suddenly in the middle of all that is happening with you and around you, you get someone who joins your team.
You like that person though she happens to be your subordinate.
You very well know you can't cross certain limits as it will impact your professional life.
That person looks to be vulnerable and grappling with some personal and emotional issues.
As you see potential in that person from a competency point of view, you provide certain opportunities to her that you would have provided in any other case too.
You also start developing some sort of infatuation for that subordinate of yours.
Its hard to figure out the reason for that.
When you are with that person, you sometime have some thoughts which are somehow related to the emotional connect factors.
You even have physical attraction for that person.
However, you exercise complete control and caution.
You very well know the consequences that would follow if you were to cross certain boundaries.
That subordinate is not really very beautiful or attractive, but you find her to be attractive.
And you don't even know why it is so.
You like her sense of dressing and clothing.
You like her work-related competencies and performance.
You also have feelings for her due to her vulnerabilities.
You like the conversations you have with her.
You wait in the morning to catch a glimpse of her.
You like to be in meetings where she is also there.
You even think of creating opportunities where you can be with her.
At the same time, you are different.
You are different and you don't do any non-sense.
You control your feelings, emotions, physical desires.
That is what you are.
You have needs, desires and dreams.
They do not control you though.
You are the one who is in complete control of your needs, desires and dreams.
That subordinate may go away tomorrow.
You know for sure that it will happen some day which may not be far away.
And you know it is just infatuation.
And you will be able to come around it.
It may result in you having some sort of feelings and thoughts which may bring you issues, challenges and disappointments
However, they do not control you.
You are the one who does everything possible to be in control of your issues, challenges and disappointments.
You may not fully succeed in that but you keep on trying your level best.
And then you realize you are just a simple, weak human being who is just trying to do your best to control what happens to you in your life.
The infatuation you have developed for that subordinate is something that you have to learn how to deal with.
You are clueless because the infatuation has come very naturally to you.
You think of getting closer to that subordinate and supposing she reciprocates your feelings, you even imagine that things would become more serious, and you would divorce your spouse and marry her.
That would not be alright though.
Or you may think of getting physically intimate with that subordinate and risk your professional life.
You very well know, in case things don't go the right way you may be in big trouble with respect to workplace harassment case being brought against you.
You also secretly wish you could get physically intimate with her and it stays just that way and stays just between the two of you.
You do know, however, that since she is not married, she may want any relationship of this sort to turn into a long-term commitment and marriage which may not be possible.
Also, you wonder, why would she be interested in getting physically intimate with you.
You have certain power over her and that may be all which is there but you might think of it as otherwise.
You may think you are getting some feelers at times but the signals could all be wrong.
Also, as you are very superior to her, she would do certain things on professional front simply because she reports into you.
When you develop such infatuation, it is a difficult situation to be in.
You have to be sensitive and sensible.
Let that infatuation remain just that.
Infatuation!
On the professional front, you are very good, in fact excellent, at the work you have chosen in your career.
Though you are good at your work and you really and passionately love what you do, the company and industry doesn't give much value to it since it does not generate cash for the business and the company.
You are actually stuck in your current organization since you have been trying, desperately too at times, but not getting anything better.
At the same time, you have reached the peak as far as your growth in that company is concerned.
You will never reach the next level in that company since it is a small shop run by a Lala and his coterie of old boys club.
In a Lala company, rules are followed or not followed, depending upon the convenience of the powers that be which includes the Lala and his stooges.
In fact, you shudder at the thought of going to the next level because then you have to be a "yes sir" person and be ready to do things that may not actually be quite ethical.
You see many folks, some of them reporting into you and some in other teams in that company who are just passing their time.
Many of these strange folks reach office late in a very leisurely manner, have multiple and long tea-breaks, have long post-lunch silly chit-chat breaks and leave dot at the close of official business day.
Basically doing a lot of non-sense at the expense of the company time but eventually wasting their entire life in trivial and silly stuff.
You are different and you don't do any of that non-sense.
However, you clearly realize that you have reached a point in your career where you work with zeal and passion only for yourself and not for the company.
So, at some level, you are happy with the current situation in your professional life.
Of course, things could have been better.
On your personal front, you are doing just okay.
You are married but not exactly happy with your spouse.
You believe in staying healthy so you take care of what you eat.
There are couple of physical wellness and health issues with you, some of which are genetic, that you have for quite some time and that you think you will be grappling with till the very end of your life.
You have high energy levels in all dimensions - physical, mental, spiritual.
Your have certain physical needs which come very naturally to you and you don't think there is anything wrong with that.
You are financially in a very strong position.
And you can actually retire tomorrow if you so wish.
One thing you always think of and that makes you feel settled and at peace with yourself is that "you will be dead one day".
The thought that your needs, desires and dreams and issues, challenges and disappointments are very transient and will disappear the day your die, makes you quite philosophical and at ease with your own self and your very existence.
However, overall, there are many things that bother you, make you unsettled and not at ease.
You feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied at times.
You also have several vulnerabilities.
And suddenly in the middle of all that is happening with you and around you, you get someone who joins your team.
You like that person though she happens to be your subordinate.
You very well know you can't cross certain limits as it will impact your professional life.
That person looks to be vulnerable and grappling with some personal and emotional issues.
As you see potential in that person from a competency point of view, you provide certain opportunities to her that you would have provided in any other case too.
You also start developing some sort of infatuation for that subordinate of yours.
Its hard to figure out the reason for that.
When you are with that person, you sometime have some thoughts which are somehow related to the emotional connect factors.
You even have physical attraction for that person.
However, you exercise complete control and caution.
You very well know the consequences that would follow if you were to cross certain boundaries.
That subordinate is not really very beautiful or attractive, but you find her to be attractive.
And you don't even know why it is so.
You like her sense of dressing and clothing.
You like her work-related competencies and performance.
You also have feelings for her due to her vulnerabilities.
You like the conversations you have with her.
You wait in the morning to catch a glimpse of her.
You like to be in meetings where she is also there.
You even think of creating opportunities where you can be with her.
At the same time, you are different.
You are different and you don't do any non-sense.
You control your feelings, emotions, physical desires.
That is what you are.
You have needs, desires and dreams.
They do not control you though.
You are the one who is in complete control of your needs, desires and dreams.
That subordinate may go away tomorrow.
You know for sure that it will happen some day which may not be far away.
And you know it is just infatuation.
And you will be able to come around it.
It may result in you having some sort of feelings and thoughts which may bring you issues, challenges and disappointments
However, they do not control you.
You are the one who does everything possible to be in control of your issues, challenges and disappointments.
You may not fully succeed in that but you keep on trying your level best.
And then you realize you are just a simple, weak human being who is just trying to do your best to control what happens to you in your life.
The infatuation you have developed for that subordinate is something that you have to learn how to deal with.
You are clueless because the infatuation has come very naturally to you.
You think of getting closer to that subordinate and supposing she reciprocates your feelings, you even imagine that things would become more serious, and you would divorce your spouse and marry her.
That would not be alright though.
Or you may think of getting physically intimate with that subordinate and risk your professional life.
You very well know, in case things don't go the right way you may be in big trouble with respect to workplace harassment case being brought against you.
You also secretly wish you could get physically intimate with her and it stays just that way and stays just between the two of you.
You do know, however, that since she is not married, she may want any relationship of this sort to turn into a long-term commitment and marriage which may not be possible.
Also, you wonder, why would she be interested in getting physically intimate with you.
You have certain power over her and that may be all which is there but you might think of it as otherwise.
You may think you are getting some feelers at times but the signals could all be wrong.
Also, as you are very superior to her, she would do certain things on professional front simply because she reports into you.
When you develop such infatuation, it is a difficult situation to be in.
You have to be sensitive and sensible.
Let that infatuation remain just that.
Infatuation!
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