Friday, April 21, 2017

Lala Company, Top Dog, Cronyism, Mediocrity and Stooges

Question: What is the common thread across these - Lala Company, Top Dog, Cronyism, Mediocrity and Stooges?

Answer: These are tell-tale signs that if the company you are currently working has any one of the above attributes, it will really have all.

In any case, if you are smart, you will figure this out on your own!

So what are the points you need to keep in mind while working in such a company?
  • If you are not one of the stooges of the top dog in such a company, you better be on the lookout to move on sooner than latter.
  • The top dog and his stooges have special privileges like "unofficially declared" reserved parking slots (despite the top dog claiming to be otherwise), being served some of the menu items in a plate on the lunch table itself, secret meetings that only the cronies attend.
  • The performance appraisal process is run by the top dog and his cronies. Other senior professionals are made to look like fools in the entire process.
  • The top dog would blatantly ask you to involve and keep in loop his stooge for that area. Yes, he will appoint stooges to oversee areas where professionals are working and not his cronies.
  • The top dog is expert in creating a beautiful facade of professionalism and progressive thinking but scratch the surface and what you see beneath is a dirt-laden, toxic lala company with stooges in key positions, and a company full of cronyism and mediocrity.
  • Such a company proudly announces that X% of employees are there with us for more than 10 years, Y% of employees are there with us for more than 5 years and similar nonsense. What it won't tell is that most of such employees are good for nothing, can't find another job and are basically living a retired corporate life in that company. And no wonder, this list will include the top dog, his stooges and his cronies.
  • The HR in such a company is not trust-worthy. On any issue the stand of the HR head will be the stand of the top dog and this will be so since HR head will be a key stooge. In fact, the HR head has no stand, the top dog will ask him what exactly to do (including when to wag his tail, when to bark and when to bite).
  • The top dog and his trusted stooges will go for lunch together and never mingle informally with other employees over then lunch table. However, in official parties they will come across as over-casual and totally ludicrous that at times may border on sheer non-sense.
  • The top dog will promote his stooges and cronies based on loyalty. Mediocrity is the true name of the game. In such companies merit has no place and those who say "yes sir" more number of times get promoted!
  • The stooges are not really that competent and are there in the good books of the top dog only due to blind loyalty. And they remain in the good books by being a nice puppy to the top dog and follow his orders to the hilt (including when to wag the tail, when to bark and when to bite).
  • When someone resigns in such a company, the HR, the stooges and the top dog, secretly work like mad behind the scenes (the actual head of department is not kept in the loop - he can as well go get lost!), do some non-sense to retain the employee and then claim that they have done a fantastic job in employee retention. What they forget is that such a thing never happens in a professional company.
  • The top dog maintains a facade of openness, transparency and professionalism on the surface that may mislead you completely at times about what is truly under and inside the facade. But if you provide him a different perspective and are not his "yer sir" stooge, he will discard his layer of artificial professionalism in no time and show his true, ugly side.
  • The stooge appointed by the top dog in your area will remain silent most of the times not because he wants to but because he is simply incompetent. However, when the top dog has an axe to grind against you he will use the stooge as his henchman.
  • The top dog and stooge will force you to take someone in the team who is as incompetent as them in that area. This person becomes their informer and can make life hell for you. For the top dog and the stooge this gives them secret power over you. Your position is always kept weak so that you always remain unsettled.
Well, there are certainly many more points one can talk about. The above provide a good glimpse into the aspects you should consider when working in such a company.

So if you observe any of the following in your current organization - Lala Company, Top Dog, Cronyism, Mediocrity and Stooges - you got to be alert and very careful.

When it comes to good, bad and ugly, you must remember that you should be prepared to come across most of ugly, lot of bad and little or no good when you work in such companies.

Of course, when they hire you the impression the top dog and the stooges will create is that most of it is good, a little is bad but no ugly.

Don't fall for the lie!

But in case you have already fallen for the lie - poor, wretched you.

You must get out, and that too very fast!

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