Two Milli Minnows, Two Micro Minnows, Four Nano Minnows and the Pico Minnow

The micro minnows are the real manipulators in the system.

Both, the one who is the local man and the other man who is remotely located.

The remotely located micro minnow is another character.

More on that some other day.

You see the local micro minnow talking in the corridor very often with the four nano minnows.

The micro and the nano minnows talk in loud whispers, making non-intelligible sounds but statements that are simply stupid.

They are a small, secret group of unprofessional folks.

They are the ones who are responsible for the unprofessional set-up.

And not only that they are unethical too.

This kind of shit happens only in a small company.

A small company that thinks it is too big for its own small boots.

The micro minnow is particular about people attending events where those personally known to him would be attending.

Company's business affairs can go to hell.

Any why not?

Such a company is not a business enterprise but a family affair.

The spouse of the micro minnow is there in training paid for by the company.

The nano minnows are like dogs who wag their tails and slurp their tongue when they see the micro minnow.

Micro or nano, a minnow is a minnow.

Any time.

There are more minnows.

There is a pico minnow too.

This guy is a complete joker and a jest.

He is expert is licking the boots of the micro minnows and also the masters of the micro minnow, the milli minnows.

The pico minnow does all the personal work of the micro minnows and milli minnows.

At times of the nano minnows too.

But he can refuse to obey nano minnows.

This funny man does everything except the work done by a toilet hand  jet spray faucet.

He would usually and generally discuss silly and stupid stuff only with the micro minnow.

Then there are the milli minnows.

They are the ones having a good time.

They use the company as personal asset.

The pico minnow is their servant.

Why A Poor Perfomer Has No Choice But To Become A Complainer?

A poor performer is a an immaculate work retard.

A poor performer is also an incorrigible work shirker.

A poor performer is expert at providing lame excuses like the following when confronted about his performance:

• I did not get the training
• I was not clear I had to do that job
• The meeting should not have been organized
• I could not do a good job because someone senior was at fault
• Basically, it is not my fault, not at all

His cab comes in late, every single day, late at least by half an hour to an hour.

After he settles down in the office and if he has no meeting, he saunters his way to the cafeteria.

And not only does he kill his own time he also kills the time of others in the team by getting them to accompany him.

Such people have a bad effect on others.

They are like the bad apple in the basket.

He spends an hour there at the cafeteria.

By this time it is already 10:30am to 11am.

He then checks his e-mails, replies to couple of them.

He also does some work stuff here and there.

He may also attend couple of meetings.

At times when he is in a meeting, his mind is already away at the cafeteria thinking of the tea-break his other team members are having.

The moment he is out of the meeting, he is there at the cafeteria.

And just like that the clock strikes 12:30pm.

He is now ready for lunch time.

He grabs things at the cafeteria, and merrily eats his lunch.

He is then away to the terrace or the road outside in the complex of the office building for a walk.

He along with his lunch buddies from the team that includes some more work shirkers like him spend good amount of time relaxing at the terrace garden.

Not only that, he may be a regular at the morning yoga sessions or the evening exercise sessions.

And for almost two hours this work shirker is at work but away from work.

The clock moves on.

It is now 2:30pm.

The work shirker is back at his desk.

He checks his e-mails.

He also sends couple of e-mails.

He may have some meetings also to attend.

It is now 4pm.

He again saunters to the cafeteria.

And with him the entire team goes to have another round of tea.

This goes till very close to 5pm.

And then the work shirker with others hurriedly come back to their seats.

Some of them have to necessarily leave at 5pm.

They stay far away.

Some of them do not stay far away but don't work even during the work hours so why would they work after that?

And by just coming they are doing an obligation on the company.

Who said they need to work.

They are coming, isn't that itself a bid enough deal.

He doesn't take any late evening or night calls.

Now it almost 5pm.

And he is happy to pack his bag, slings across his shoulders and walks away out of the office.

He had another action-packed day at the office.

Actions that involved long tea-breaks, an even longer lunch break, lots of chit-chat and most of it just silly chat.

On work front, he had a very productive day.

From 9am to 5pm he worked a lot.

How many hours?

A full 3 hours!

And that's fantastic.

What he did in the 3 hours also may not be at all useful.

Such people really have zero productivity.

They also are like bad apples.

And if such work shirkers are those who have the highest experience in the team they get exposed.

Their real face comes out in the open,

And then they start running here and there.

They are left with no choice but to become a complainer.

And if the person they discuss this about is another such work shirker, one with a polished way of talking then you had it.

Such complainers and those they complain to do all kind of non-sense in the name of company culture.

Some companies have no good or bad culture. they simply have no culture.

Companies that breed complainers due to performance cannot have any culture.

Such complainers need to be dealt with sternly.

One has to be cautious and careful though.

The work shirker may be the ring leader but will gets others like him to join the bandwagon to make the whole thing messy.

One must never forgive such complainers and never forget to take them to task when the right opportunity comes.

Waiting for the right opportunity to strike back is the best way to handle such a situation.

Wait on.

Hang along.

Right time is on the way.

Wait for it.

The Meeting of the Musketeers and their Master

There was this meeting today.

The meeting where the musketeers met their master.

The musketeers came like monkeys looking for crumbs to be thrown at them by their master.

This was supposed to be the management meeting.

Musketeers seldom make management though.

The musketeers owe their wretched existence to their loyalty to the master.

The musketeers know the above very well.

However, they mask their lack of professionalism and ethics.

They met secretively with other musketeers and the master in the meeting that happened today.

This meeting happens time and again.

Only the musketeers get invited to this meeting.

Other relevant and competent folks are strictly not invited.

This meeting is out of bound for those with professionalism and ethics.

The musketeers meet and what they do is any one's guess.

They do nothing.

They need to sing paeans to the master.

They have no choice.

They are spineless creatures who are living at the mercy of their master.

The master is a specimen of his own.

He is an expert at faking genuine leadership.

He is an expert in hypocrisy.

But then what else can you expect?

The simple fact that he has a gang of funny musketeers around him clearly shows what kind of a person the master is.

The meeting that happened today will happen again.

And again.

And again.

Nothing concrete and meaningful has come out till date.

And nothing concrete and meaningful will come out ever.

The Sick and Silly Club of Stupid and Secretive Stooges

How do you know for sure that you are in the middle of a ridiculous situation?

A situation where you are surrounded by the sick and silly club of stupid and secretive stooges.

Who are these stooges?

These are those funny folks who think highly of themselves.

They write mail to each other.

They write silly emails copying each other.

They write emails where they are shown as the "premium club" whereas others are clearly shown as the lesser mortals belonging to the "cattle class".

And they are the "club" for all the reasons other than merit, competency, professionalism and ethics.

The stooges are stupid.

The stooges are secretive.

They have to be secretive because they are stupid but have to protect their self-glorified position.

The stupid and secretive stooges make the club.

The club is silly.

The club is sick.

The club is silly since it is sick.

The stupid and secretive stooges make the sick and the silly club.

Its basically a lala company.

And you are trapped badly.

Stooges call each other sir.

Some of the silly people say something but mean something else.

The top people are a specimen of the most ridiculous kind.

They are basically having an extended vacation at the cost of the company.

Some of the stooges are particularly idiotic.

One of them writes emails without copying the relevant folks and copies only those in the silly club.

Why?

Because this man is a man you cannot trust.

He will project himself being someone but is actually a true chameleon.

He doesn't mingle with you informally as he thinks he is superior to you.

And superior on account of what?

That's the funny part.

This treacherous man thinks he is superior for every reason other than those that are related to merit, competency, professionalism and ethics.

Since he doesn't have any of the above -  merit, competency, professionalism and ethics.

He is there since he is a stooge.

And so are the others in the club.

Another of them is particularly disgusting.

He thinks he is a shining star who has fallen from the sky.

He is definitely a fallen guy.

Not from sky though.

He has fallen from every possible good attribute.

He has fallen way below from even the regular expectations you would have from a just decent guy in terms of merit, competency, professionalism and ethics.

In such a company ethics is eaten everyday at lunch by the stooges and the top dog.

They talk big.

They think they have made a great company.

Nothing can be further and father from the truth.

They have created stooges.

They have created stupid and secretive stooges.

They have created a sick and silly club.

They have created a sick and silly club of stupid and secretive stooges.

That is what they have actually done.

You are in the middle of the sick and silly club of stupid and secretive stooges.

Nothing less.

Nothing more.

And that is all there is to it.

In simple word, you are basically doomed.

You are as good as dead.

When the Top Brass is a Bunch of Nincompoops on Retirement Holiday

In many organizations those at the top are there due to their loyalty to each other. They are like a pack of wolves who hunt together.

If these people are nincompoops on retirement holiday then you have had it. Those working in such companies are sitting in an aircraft heading for crash.

The company may survive for many many years but will not grow at a reasonable pace. Growth requires the top brass to be competent and have the right kind of zeal.

Those on retirement holiday can't be expected to possess the right kind of attitude and aptitude. The reason has everything to do with how they came in.

They came in due to their loyalty to "the powers that be". Loyalty was the only thing that mattered. Such loyalists have no thinking ability and brain of their own.

If the top dog says sit, the puppies will sit. If the top dog says stand up, the puppies will do likewise. Puppies are not supposed to show their spine.

And if the puppies don't show their spine, very soon their spines become dysfunctional. Puppies call the top dog as sir. You would often hear them say, "we have to do this as sir has said it".

Such a company is a strange place where professionalism and ethics are conveniently put on the backseat. These are good words to say and hear, but mean nothing beyond that.

Some of those who are close to the top management carry a stupid swagger. They act as if they are the superior beings in the organization. Such irritating folks make childish statements in meetings thinking that they come across as smart chaps but scratch the surface and you see a clown.

The clownish character is there only to entertain his master, the top dog. The top dog also feels good when he is made to feel important.

In such companies, the organization structure itself will be totally flawed. Promotions mean nothing in such companies. The reporting structure is ludicrous and makes no logical sense.

The whole idea behind the organizational set-up in such companies is to protect the coterie culture and not let the coterie face tough questions.

There are strange roles in such companies. These roles are artificially propped up with full connivance of the top brass to protect the loyalists.

There will be many loyalists for whom artificial roles will be created to keep them there. Value addition from such people is neither expected nor desired.

Nincompoops bring tragedy to the place where they work. So such companies provide the ideal playground for tragedies to happen.

Such organizations slowly turn into a retirement home with the nincompoops enjoying every bit of their time during their extended retirement holiday.

The situation gradually reaches a point where it becomes beyond salvage.  Those working in such companies need to get prepared to meet the dooms day, sooner than latter.

The best option for the smart folks who believe in professionalism and ethics is to move on. And move on at the earliest with great haste. Otherwise they should be ready for disaster.