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Sunday, June 12, 2016

How to Start Worrying Less or Better Stop Worrying At All?



This is a very important question: why do we worry in general?

And here's another equally important question: why do we worry so much on certain occasions?

The real reason is the fear of loss.

It could be the fear of loss of one or more of the following:
  • Loss of your job which may be lousy but which you desperately need to cling on to so as to be able to pay for your living expenses (this pertains to the money you need to buy food, pay home rent/EMI and sundry bills like water, electricity, gas).
  • Loss of someone you like and love temporarily or even worse permanently maybe because of death (the someone can include your family, friends and other social connects).
  • Loss of time that you could have spent in a better way (the time here pertains to time spent waiting in a queue, meeting someone you hate at the core but can't avoid, time working at a job with ass-like colleagues you can't stand even for a second).
  • Loss of stuff that you bought to make your life better (washing machine, refrigerator, some gadget to connect to Internet but no TV).
  • Loss of health leading to not only unnecessary expenses but also physical and mental discomfort (this pertains to being in a position to lead life independently both in a physical and mental sense which means you are not either in and out of a hospital or a mental asylum).
  • Loss of spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual relation with your life partner (it is painful to be in a relation with your life-partner which is merely social, economic and legal in nature).
  • Loss of ability to pay for the big expenses in life (this would include the big ticket items that cost a truck-load of cash like retirement pool, kid's education, kid's marriage, medical emergencies, accidents, legal cases slapped on you).
  • Loss of social and economic status owing to macro-economic forces, major goof-ups made by you, unethical practices you or someone else indulged in, or plain bad luck.
It is essentially your assessment of one of more of the above losses having high likelihood that causes fear and hence makes you worry.

So how to start worrying less or better stop worrying at all?

One of the ways to do that is to understand what types of losses are in your control and what are not.

And then focus on the losses where you have some level of control on and forget about the rest.

Wherever you have control you should take the right action but leave the final outcome to itself.

Remember there's really nothing that is under your full control!

Outcome is determined by your action, factors beyond your control and some kind of an "X factor" that you may not even know is there in the first place.

A very helpful approach to use is Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan.

The essence of this approach is not to lust after a favorable outcome but to focus on the right action, come what may.

Just think of it, only your action is in your control. The final outcome is never!

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