How To Remain Spiritual And More Importantly Sane While Driving On Indian Roads? Heck, Is That Even Possible?

Driving on Indian Roads is tough, very tough!

Tough in every manner one can think of - physical, mental and even spiritual.

As per the so-called Gurus and Swamis, we need to attain spiritual enlightenment.

And going further, as they would add, we don't necessarily need to renounce the worldly affairs but live through the worldly affairs steadily applying the spiritual principles.

Come to think of it - how can one remain spiritual while driving on Indian roads?

Or, more importantly, how can one remain sane in such a tough situation as driving on Indian roads?

Heck, is that even possible?

Tough question, indeed!

Let us talk about the experience of driving on Indian roads - some experience it is.

In case you are still wondering what kind of experience that is, go and ask someone who has had that "nothing short of divine" experience.

Better, travel to India and get the first-hand "nothing short of divine" experience.

Whether your spirit gets enlightened or not you will surely have some experience!

What magic and miracles happen when you are driving on Indian roads?

Left and right may not mean much

Depending upon your mood and the temptation of taking a shorter route, left can become right and right can become left. It is hard to guess what is right and what is left. 

Or rather what is right and what is not right. So at the end, one might conclude that right is not right but left and left is not left but right. 

This realization of oneness is nothing but deeply spiritual!

Red lights at traffic junctions are mostly for ornamental purpose

Red, amber and green doesn't always mean stop, look and go.

You either just don't look at colour of the traffic light and merrily drive on or choose to read the colour based on your innate sense of whether you will get through, alive.

In any case, you are neither this mind nor this body. So what if you loose you body in a bloody accident.

The real you, which is pure consciousness, can, of course, never die, so why waste precious time at red lights.

This realization of the permanent consciousness manifesting itself through your temporary physical body is nothing but deeply spiritual!

Right and left turn indicators waste battery power and eventually fuel

Why waste fuel? Why not help the environment albeit in a very small way?

Also, it is fun to keep those following you in a dramatic suspense about your next move? That helps people awaken their sixth sense too.

This realization of the need for everyone to awaken their sixth sense is nothing but deeply spiritual!

Vehicle type and slow lane and fast lane are good concepts but not to be followed

You can ignore that and drive whatever vehicle you want to and where ever on the road you want to.

So it is perfectly fine for you to drive a bi-cycle or a tri-cycle or a bullock-cart or a tractor or a truck or a two-wheeler or a car or even a bulldozer.

Freedom guaranteed by democracy makes this easy. 

After all, everyone seeks the same, one supreme being but the paths may be varied and of each one's own choosing. 

This realization that all paths lead to the same source of supreme power is nothing but deeply spiritual!

Roads are not in good condition and at times do not have well-defined contours

The general condition of roads is pathetic, to say it very nicely. Hence it is critical to figure out how much of the road can actually be used.

The extreme lanes of public roads are generally not meant for use. They are either in a dilapidated and broken state and/or used for parking and/or used by the shopkeepers as their private display area.

The other part of the road may as well be in a dilapidated and broken state with potholes the size of craters and/or uneven road surface and/or may have huge or ungainly speed breakers.

On top of that, there may be sudden, sharp cuts and U-turns and/or entry points into and/or exits from main roads. You need to be road-smart to figure out these sudden changes.

You are required to navigate the pathetic roads and the mad traffic with madder drivers like a true Karmayogi.

If you want to reach your destination you need to fight, and drive.

This realization that one has to continue with actions to keep on moving on and to accept the real nature of life which is like driving, with the traffic, the vehicles and the drivers, is nothing but deeply spiritual!

So can one remain spiritual while driving on Indian roads?

Yes, one certainly can.

So how can one remain sane in such a tough situation as driving on Indian roads?

Very simple, by becoming spiritual.

Or maybe not. Who knows?

You Can be Dead in a Second, at any Second

Have you ever thought about this?

You can be dead in a second, at any second.

Sounds scary but it is true.

As true as you are at this moment, as you are reading this.

The fact is life is fragile and transient.

At times, you may get this feeling that you are going to be there forever.

Never believe that. That's a complete lie.

The fundamental truth underlying life is just one - death.

Everything else is a lie.

In Hindu philosophy, Upanishads come at the very end of the Vedas. In fact, Upanishads are referred to as Vedanta also.

Vedanta literally means the end of Vedas or figuratively speaking, the last word or the final/conclusive essence of the Vedas.

Similarly death comes at the very end of life.

That way, death means the final/conclusive essence of life!

You can be dead at this very month. Or may be not.

You can be dead the very next moment. Or may be not.

You can be dead by next day. Or may be not.

You can be dead by next week. Or may be not.

You can be dead by next month. Or may be not.

You can be dead by next year. Or may be not.

You can be dead in next 10 years. Or may be not.

You can be dead in next 100 years. Or may be not.

You can be dead in next 1000 years. But for sure!

So even if you live long, remember the following:

It would be next to impossible for you to live beyond 100 years of age and simply impossible for you to live beyond 1000 years of age.

So should you worry that you will drop dead one day?

No, absolutely not.

Clarity in respect of death being the end-point of life is not only a physical reality but also has enormous psychological value should one choose to derive it.

Death is not something you should be scared of.

It rather is something you should always be ready to embrace.

It is always useful to know the end-game.

And what is the end-game?

You can be dead in a second, at any second.

Why the Question "What is the Purpose of Life?" is Fundamentally a Flawed Question?

"What is the purpose of life"?

Before we proceed further, it is absolutely important to take note of the following:

• Who would ask this question? It has to be a human being who is mentally fit but it cannot be an animal or even a human being who is not mentally fit per se
• When would someone ask this question? Typically, when the person is going through a tough phase in her life. This question will usually not get asked by a person when everything in her life is going well (secure job, high income, loving spouse and family, great health)
• Why would someone ask this question? This question would be asked when one looks at one's own life not as an actor but as an observer, standing far apart. It's like the "real you" asking this question to the "physiological and psychological you" (at this juncture, it is important to see the "three you" in the "apparently one you")

In light of the above, it is easy to see why the question "what is the purpose of life"? is fundamentally a flawed question.

Why the heck should life have a purpose? Think of an animal. Does it ever ask "what is the purpose of life"?

No.

It just lives life without worrying about its purpose. That is just very fine.

Purpose is not really essential to live life. And without a purpose one won't die instantly.

Any animal is born at a finite point in time and space and comes into "being". It then lives for a finite period of time. And it eventually dies at some finite point in time and consequently stops "being".

Purpose or no purpose, the cycle of birth-living-death will happen as it should.

Human beings ask the question "what is the purpose of life"? because they think they are either a reflection of the supreme being or the supreme being itself.

So they better have a purpose.

What if there is no supreme being?

Or even if there is one, he is not interested in the worldly affairs?

Or even if he is interested, he doesn't known a certain human being exists?

Or even if he knows a certain human being exists, he doesn't care whether that person has a purpose in life or not?

Or even if he cares about the purpose of that person, he doesn't agree with that purpose?

How would he let the person know the purpose is not alright and there should be a different purpose.

It is even not known whether the supreme being is actually a she and not a he or maybe something different from either he or she.

Why do we pull purpose into this situation. Why the question "what is the purpose of life"? assumes so much of significance.

The reason could be very simple.

Since the  "apparently one you" asking this question is actually the "three you - the "real you" and the "physiological and psychological you", human being tend to assume that they are somehow more important than the other living creatures.

A man or a woman has the right to ask the question "what is the purpose of life"? but not a dog, cat or a mouse. Why is that so?

Have you ever seen a dog attending a philosophical discourse and ask such a question "what is the purpose of life"?. 

Human beings control the planet and decide what the purpose of a dog should be.

The purpose of a dog can be serving as a pet to a person, getting used for some kind of experiment, working with police for bomb detection, or even getting served as part of some dish on the plate!

But the above purpose is actually super-imposed on the dog and the dog may not agree to have the above as the purpose of its life.

The dog doesn't get a choice unfortunately.

The point is, a dog can live life without a purpose or with a super-imposed purpose that it may not necessarily agree to given a choice.

It may be born as a street dog and die as one without wondering about and worrying about "what is the purpose of life"?

Human beings think they are not a dog and hence they should have a purpose.

This thought runs against the basic philosophy of desire-less action so well narrated in the Bhagvad Gita.

If you live life with fruit of your actions as the purpose of the action and your life as well there will always be issues. 

The Vedanta philosophy dwells upon the "apparently one you" and the "three you - the "real you" and the "physiological and psychological you" in a very insightful and profound manner.

As per the dualistic school of thought (Dwaita), the "apparently one you" is supposed to be a reflection of the "supreme being" (Brahman).

And as per the non-dualistic school of thought (Adwaita), the "apparently one you" is the "supreme being" (Brahman) itself!

Living is about being and nothing beyond that. 

You are there because you exist. Things are there for you because you exist. And you exist because you are there.

Being there is all there is to it. Having a purpose is not anyway impacting or getting impacted by being there.

Life is simply about existence. If there is no existence, there is no life. If there is existence, there ought to be life.

So life doesn't need to have a purpose. It is all complete in itself.

And that is why the question "what is the purpose of life"? is fundamentally a flawed one.

The question that is more pertinent to be asked is actually this:

"Why not to bother about purpose of life and how to just be as you live life before your drop dead?"

The purpose of life is to just be!

Why are You Not Happy and Content with Your Life?

It is very important to know and also understand how things are going in your life at a given point in time.

Clearly knowing and articulating what's going on is a very liberating exercise.

Of course, understanding why you are not happy and content with your life doesn't mean the issues will get resolved.

It will only make you feel better about your ability to handle them in a positive way. Or rather your ability to handle yourself in a positive way!

You can change yourself to a great extent but the situations to only a limited extent.

So why are you not happy and content with your life?

Your career is not going anywhere.

The company you work with is a lala company where merit and competence has no value.

The only thing that matters is loyalty to the top man.

The person you have been forced to report into doesn't even know how to spell the word "merit".

He is a double-timing, scheming manipulator whose only qualification is his blind loyalty to the top man.

This man is no better than an ass with a stinky hole.

This man spends his energy in playing games behind your back and in performing acts and saying words just to disparage you.

You have merit and competency. You lack loyalty and that's your undoing.

Yes sir, you are literally forced to report into a "yes sir stooge".

And of course, there will be some more of his ilk. As expected, there will be some more stooges when you work in such an organization.

Either you find another job to move on to or suffer the agony seeing the stooges and the top man do all kinds of non-sense.

Remember, stay calm and positive till the time you have to bear the agony.

You marriage is not going anywhere.

This can be very painful.

And if this happens along with the challenges you have on the career front the agony gets compounded multiple times.

Your wife is not emotionally mature to realize the value of marriage.

Her own wishes are the only things that matter to her. Your wishes can go down the drain.

You constantly crave for caring touch, physical proximity and yes sex too. She is frigid and toxic.

She takes your advances and initiatives to get closer, both physically and emotionally, as if she is doing an obligation to you.

She would say, "what's so big deal about it?".

And your simple answer to that is, "what's not so big deal about it?.

If your desire to have sex has no value for her then that's a big problem.

She has all the excuses.

She has headache, is tired, is not in the mood, is angry, is not interested, is not excited, is not getting wet in her vagina, has periods, has pain and many more reasons.

It is only she and her issues. You are not relevant. Basically she tells you just on thing - just get lost!

In addition to above, when you want sex she will tell you many funny things like:

• Is that the only thing that is there?
• You only want one thing from me?
• Am I a toy or a plaything?
• How can I let you come near me?

A good marriage rests on three key pillars - physical, mental and spiritual alignment. If one or more are missing then your marriage has no meaning.

In fact, even to be good friends, the above is a sine-qua-non.

The relation between a man and his wife is different from the relation between a man and any other woman in just one way - physical intimacy and closeness.

If the above is missing, then something is really and seriously wrong between you.

Ideally speaking, in a good relation, a man should not have physical relation with any other woman other than his own wife.

When your wife doesn't understand the above, it can be difficult for you.

When your wife stares blankly into nothingness and ignores you when you reach home from the office after a painful drive back home it can be a very sad situation.

If your wife is a woman who has no concern regarding your well-being and in fact is happy to see harm come your way, then you have had it.

So if your wife does all kinds of non-sense to make you feel as if you are not wanted by her, you are not important for her, and your needs to get intimate are not valid you would feel the pain.

In addition, if your wife doesn't have intimate talks with you, about your needs, desires, concerns and anxieties and about your lives together something is really seriously wrong.

Such a relation is actually walking on crippled legs and will not walk any smoothly and very far.

One of the choices you have is to either go with a divorce which is not a good idea especially if you have kids.

The other choice is to become detached from your wife. Just imaging that's its over (it actually is already over, so this is more of a realization that its over) and don't waste your energy on her.

It is okay to not have a fulfilled marital life. And that is so because whatever it is, in the long run nothing really matters since in the long run all of us are inevitably dead!

So take philosophical solace in your impending death, which may still be far away but which is slowly progressing nearer you every month.

Your wife doesn't deserve your best if she doesn't give her best. Period.

And don't think marrying another woman will fix that. Maybe there are issues with you. You never know.

Having a good wife is a great thing. Not having a good wife means a part of your life has got crippled.

Your health is going somewhere but your age is going the other way.

Remember this, you will be dead one day. Maybe tomorrow.

What are the ways to die?

• You become too old
• You meet with an accident
• You are killed by someone
• You become terminally sick with disease

In any case, your health will start depleting and degenerating as you start aging.

You may have acute myopia.

You may have pain in you left knee area.

Your tongue may have cuts.

You may occasionally have had pain and sensation in your left shoulder.

The middle bone of your nose is bent one way.

You occasionally feel a burning sensation around the heart and chest area.

You have issues with your digestive system.

You occasionally get a throbbing pain in your right temple area.

You burp a lot at times.

And so on and on and on.

The key thing is, health is a blessing if you have it in a good shape and it is a curse if it is not in a good  shape.

So you would want to take extreme care of your health.

Maybe the sights and sounds that you experience when you visit a hospital bothers you very much.

You are distressed and moved when you see a very old, frail person who is probably knocking on death's door.

You get reminded of the fact that you will be that person one day!

You are worried about becoming blind when you become old due to acute myopia.

You are also worried about the above impacting other members of your family, especially your son.

You think it is so unfair that you have to spend a lot of money for getting spectacles made for you and your family.

You also hate when you have to spend money on buying medicines for your daughter. And especially so since she doesn't seem to care about the importance of a healthy diet.

Like the above, there may be several other things that may be the reason why you are not happy and content with your life.

So why you are not happy and content with your life?

You should know. That would help.

And even if it doesn't it is a very liberating exercise.

Do You Constantly Feel Unsettled and Discontent with the Way Your Life Seems to be Just Drifting Along?

Yes?

Do you constantly feel unsettled?

Discontent perhaps?

Think your life seems to be just drifting along?

If you are going through all of the above it is high time to pause and even drop dead in your tracks and have a deep, hard look at how your life is getting along the path to your death eventually.

Remember, you don't have infinite and indefinite time to do course correction.

You should invest your energies in finding your true calling of your life without loosing any more time.

The time is now.

If you don't start doing something about it now, right this very moment, it will never happen.

And before you realize, you will very soon be on your death bed.

When you are on your death bed, the only thought that will truly be important is this - did you live a life that was settled and content.

Can you say, you did find the true calling of your life?

If you love to do what you do, its great.

However at times, you love what you do and are great in that as well but what you do and the kind of person that you are may be completely out of sync.

For example, maybe you want to do something where you don't want to work with certain kind of people.

However, the kind of people you work with currently maybe exactly the kind of people you don't enjoy working with.

Or maybe you want to be financially free and make capital allocation and investments as your career but are stuck with somthing not out of choice but out of lack of choice.

Think about it.

Find the true calling of your life.

But be in a great hurry.

Time is running out.

When you find a job that resonates with what you truly are you will become great in that.

The reason is such a job will not be job.

It will be very purpose and essence of your life.

So keep looking.

And do not stop until you find it.

The Power of Constant Realization of the Inevitability of Death and the Finiteness of Life

All of us know these two ultimate truths of our lives.

First, death is inevitable.

And second, life is finite.

Contant realization of these two ultimate truths bestows upon us some kind of a philosophical power, the power to live life with contentment and to embrace our death, when it comes, with deep humility.

Such a realization also has a profound philosophical value.

After one drops dead and is forever gone, nothing that happens in this world has any relevance for the departed. The trials and tribulations of living through life is relevant only till the time one is not dead.

Knowing it fully well that one would be gone is a powerful tool for living a life full of contentment.

In some sense, life's purpose is not really just to live a happy life but rather to constantly prepare oneself to eventually die a happy death.

Death serves a very useful purpose. It makes one adopt a philosophical outlook about life.

One may think why to try to do better tomorrow than what one did today because one would be dead, in any case, the day after if not tomorrow.

But that doesn't help.

Living as long as it is possible and as good a manner as is possible should be one's real motto in life.

Realization that death is inevitable and life is finite should give one a sense of philosophical nothingness.

One should keep on trying to do better and better and not let setbacks and bad experiences hold one from action habit. One should try to live one's life with passion and as if there is no tomorrow.

Death is a beautiful culmination of what one calls as life. Remember, life is finite and death is inevtable.

Let death come tomorrow, or when it has to, even if it happens all of a sudden.

So get ready to welcome death when it appears at the door!

When Relation With Your Wife Becomes Meaningless?

If you are a married man, it is quite important for a truly fulfilling life that you have a wife with whom your relation remains ever vibrant and ever meaningful, till the very end.

For such a relation to really be meaningful it must be strong not only on legal, social and economic aspects but also on physical, mental and spiritual aspects.

Here are some details on what these aspects mean (or should mean).

Legal - the marriage is formalized through legal procedures as specified in the marriage act governing the marriage. This has significance in respect of divorce proceedings, child custody, property matters, etc.

Social - the marriage is accepted by the others in the society as a valid contract for the husband and wife to live together. This has significance in respect of attending social gatherings and family functions.

Economic - the marriage is necessitated by the economic well-being of the married persons and their kids, if there are any. This has significance in respect of raising kids, paying bills and financial security.

Physical - the marriage provides physical support and way to meet sexual needs for both the husband and wife within their marriage. This has significance in respect of sexual health, physical oneness, sickness care, food and physical well-being.

Mental - the marriage provides a sense of security and belonging for both the husband and wife within their marriage.  This has significance in respect of love and intimacy, mental oneness, care and concern.

Spiritual - the marriage becomes yet another source for achieving the greater purpose of life and the consciousness of the inevitability of death makes the physical and mental bonding of the husband and wife transcend to another plane. This has significance in respect of spiritual oneness, philosophical outlook towards life as well as death and the husband and wife seeing each other as inseparable partners in the journey of life towards its final destination of death.

Sadly, for many married man having such a wife is just a nice thing in dream but not in reality.

Many marriages remain simply a matter of legal, social and economic relation between the husband and wife. There is no physical, mental and spiritual relation in such marriages.

In a true sense, such marriages are dysfunctional and cease to be a marriage in the real sense.

In case you are trapped in such a marriage, it is important that you do not loose your sense of responsibility for your own well-being.

It is easy for your wife to make her marriage to you successful on legal, social and economic aspects.

However, if she makes no attempt to make her marriage to you successful on physical, mental and spiritual aspects or rather works to make matters worse then you must realize that you are in a failed marriage.

If you a person who expects your wife to understand the importance of physical, mental and spiritual aspects and find her response negative, you may get frustrated.

This frustration should be channelized in a positive manner and transformed into strengthening your outlook towards life.

Remember, you came into this world all alone and you will leave it as well all alone. Life is not forever. One day you will drop dead. So if you are in bad marriage just become positive and philosophical. 

Why We Must Never Forget that Our Life is So Very Fragile and We Can Disappear from the World in Just a Second?

The sad reality of our life is that we keep on struggling, all through our life, till the very last day.

However, we must never forget  that our life is so very fragile and we can disappear from the world in just a second.

We can disappear from the face of earth in so many ways, at times in just a second:

• We can suddenly meet with an accident
• We can get murdered just like that
• We can become terminally ill and wait for the last moment to arrive
• We can die suddenly of some sickness or disease
• And if nothing else, we will become old and die in any case

We struggle to earn money, to accumulate stuff, to gather experiences and to keep ourselves alive just one more day, one day at a time.

Of course, we do know, that the "one day at a time" will not work on the day we finally die. After we die there is nothing more left.

Each human being is no more than a "stuff" itself. It is like any other "stuff" that the human body needs to travel the journey from life till death.

The "stuff" needed is the food that we eat, the clothes we wear, the houses where we dwell and everything else we want to acquire to enjoy higher level of material comfort.

When we are dead, we cease to exist.

The human body that we used to call with a certain name, that used to look like a certain person and that used be "that somebody" in the social and economic order of how we as humans operate the world ceases to exist.

Death makes a certain human body to disappear into the world of nothingness. Those who are alive may create ways and means to remember us after we are dead but for us, after we are dead, all of that is utterly meaningless.

What's the point if people erect a monument in our memory after we are dead?

And dead we will be one day.

So it is important that we must never forget  that our life is so very fragile and we can disappear from the world in just a second.

And hence we should live our life as if today is our last day. On the last day there will be nothing like this way of living life!

How Would You Look Back at Your Life When You are Just One Week or Two Away from Your Death?

Suppose you are just one week or two away from your death. Now, think about this question - how would you look back at your life?

Would you be in a good mood and willing to die happily because you have no regrets as you lived all through in a way you always wanted to?

Or would you be sad and in a sulky mood and like to be given some more time (weeks, or rather years!) so that you can now live it the way you always wanted to but somehow never did?

Think hard.

This is not just a million dollar question, it is actually an infinite dollar question. In fact, this is the only question that really matters.

For you as an individual, what you did after you were born and till you are not dead is really what really matters at the end of it all.

Nothing else in this world truly matters.

Now suppose, you talk to someone who has seen many deaths, not tens and hundreds but 12000.

Following article culled out the learning of one man who saw 12000 (yes, that's 12000 only) deaths.

http://projectfuel.in/blog/2016/05/15/12-life-lessons-from-a-man-who-has-seen-12000-deaths/

And what did he think of the key life lessons? The above article lists down 12 of them all of which are so very important.

Here are three messages, from the above article, which though very counter-intuitive can be (and perhaps should be) put into practice almost immediately for a "purposeful" life:

Message 1 - Simplicity is the truth of life - A simple life, as he explains, can be attained by spending less. We spend more to accumulate more and thus create more need. To find contentment in less is the secret to having more.

This is really talking about minimalism and couldn't have been said any better.

If you look around, however, you have been told just the exact opposite all this while - you have been told the purpose of life is to get a good job, buy a bigger house, a nicer car and expensive clothes.

This also provides yet another reason for adopting minimalism as explained in an earlier post on this blog on minimalism: What Makes Minimalism a Powerful Way to Live Life?.

Simple, minimalist life will take you away from the tendency to accumulate more and more stuff and consequently increase your happiness. It is useful to become aware of the fact that stuff doesn't make you happy.

You should buy and use only those "stuff" that are essential and bring joy and happiness to your life. In addition, by doing this you will help the environment as well immensely.

Message 2 - Acceptance is liberation - Indifference, avoidance, and denial of a certain truth, Shukla believes, cause anxiety; they develop a fear of that thing in the person. Instead, accept the situation so you are free to think what you want to do about it and how. Acceptance will liberate you and empower you.

Stretching and reaching out is fine but only till a certain extent.

If you look around, however, you have been told just the exact opposite all this while - you have been told nothing is impossible, you should have it here and now and that you should never, ever give up.

This is another powerful message. It is important to always remember this - Don't Try Too Hard. You shouldn't keep on trying for the greed of the outcome and should focus only on taking the actions that are possible without killing yourself.

As Oliver Goldsmith, the famous Irish novelist, playwright and poet, so rightly said:

“He who fights and runs away, May live to fight another day;
But he who is battle slain, Can never rise to fight again”

One way to avoid falling into the outcome trap is to dilute your outcome orientation by being aware of the message from Bhagvad Geeta: Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan.

Focus on actions and forget about the outcome.

Message 3 - If/When you find your purpose, do something about it - To have awareness about one’s calling is great, but only if you do something about it. A lot of people, Shukla says, know their purpose but don’t do anything about realising it, making it come to life.

You should live your life in a way you really want to so that if you have to die today you will embrace your death happily.

If you look around, however, you have been told just the exact opposite all this while - you have been told to live your life as per the standard template that means go to school, get a job, buy lot of stuff to have a comfortable life.

This is yet another powerful message. Consider this - Your Life is Lucky If You are Getting to Live It as You Would Want to Live It. So are you lucky?

Knowing your true calling in life is a great revelation. Knowing what you would want to do in life and then trying to do that is such a wonderful thing.

You never know, but it is possible that you fail to live your life the way you would want to but that's alright. Even trying in that direction is wonderful.

It is better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all.

As Mark Twain, the famous American author and humorist, so rightly said:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

So in summary, here are the three messages explained above:

• Live a simple, minimalist life
• Focus on action, not outcome
• Find your true calling in life and go after it!

9 Nuggets from the Ted Talk by Nigel Marsh on Work Life Balance

The human civilization is currently passing through an age which is dominated by huge business corporations that create wealth majorly for the capitalists and a little bit for the "workers".

The idea behind paying decent wages to the workers is to sustain and augment the middle class which is the pivot on which consumerism runs.

In addition, the current education system has perhaps been designed to serve as an assembly line for continuously producing "corporate rats" to keep the huge business corporations running.

Work life balance is perhaps the biggest dilemma the corporate rats have to always contend with. In this context, there is this Ted Talk by Nigel Marsh on work life balance which is an excellent take on this subject.

The term "work life" seems to give an impression that work and life are disjoint sets. However, it is more appropriate to view work as a sub-set of life!

Here are 9 nuggets from Ted Talk by Nigel Marsh:

• I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence. Now that was the advice that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifth century. It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40.
• So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children. But all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work.
• And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
• We should stop looking outside. It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead. If you don't design your life, someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance.
• We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the "I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left." A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long. There's got to be a middle way.
• Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced; it's more fit. Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are other parts to life - there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side; there's the spiritual side.
• As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?" He went, "Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever." I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation. 
• Now my point is the small things matter. Being more balanced doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life.
• Because if enough people do it, we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like.

Source -  https://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work/transcript?language=en

How to Start Worrying Less or Better Stop Worrying At All?

This is a very important question: why do we worry in general?

And here's another equally important question: why do we worry so much on certain occasions?

The real reason is the fear of loss.

It could be the fear of loss of one or more of the following:

• Loss of your job which may be lousy but which you desperately need to cling on to so as to be able to pay for your living expenses (this pertains to the money you need to buy food, pay home rent/EMI and sundry bills like water, electricity, gas).
• Loss of someone you like and love temporarily or even worse permanently maybe because of death (the someone can include your family, friends and other social connects).
• Loss of time that you could have spent in a better way (the time here pertains to time spent waiting in a queue, meeting someone you hate at the core but can't avoid, time working at a job with ass-like colleagues you can't stand even for a second).
• Loss of stuff that you bought to make your life better (washing machine, refrigerator, some gadget to connect to Internet but no TV).
• Loss of health leading to not only unnecessary expenses but also physical and mental discomfort (this pertains to being in a position to lead life independently both in a physical and mental sense which means you are not either in and out of a hospital or a mental asylum).
• Loss of spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual relation with your life partner (it is painful to be in a relation with your life-partner which is merely social, economic and legal in nature).
• Loss of ability to pay for the big expenses in life (this would include the big ticket items that cost a truck-load of cash like retirement pool, kid's education, kid's marriage, medical emergencies, accidents, legal cases slapped on you).
• Loss of social and economic status owing to macro-economic forces, major goof-ups made by you, unethical practices you or someone else indulged in, or plain bad luck.

It is essentially your assessment of one of more of the above losses having high likelihood that causes fear and hence makes you worry.

So how to start worrying less or better stop worrying at all?

One of the ways to do that is to understand what types of losses are in your control and what are not.

And then focus on the losses where you have some level of control on and forget about the rest.

Wherever you have control you should take the right action but leave the final outcome to itself.

Remember there's really nothing that is under your full control!

Outcome is determined by your action, factors beyond your control and some kind of an "X factor" that you may not even know is there in the first place.

A very helpful approach to use is Karmanya Vadhikaraste Maa Phaleshu Kadachan.

The essence of this approach is not to lust after a favorable outcome but to focus on the right action, come what may.

Just think of it, only your action is in your control. The final outcome is never!

Identifying and Handling Your Anxieties

Identifying and handling your anxieties is a very powerful way to understand your true drivers in life and what makes you feel energetic and what makes you dull.

Here are some of things that can cause you anxiety:

• Staying late at work for too many days in a row
• Dealing with the corporate asses at your workplace
• Negotiating with someone unreasonable and unfair to deal with
• Dealing with long-time stooges of the management
• Being forced to report into an incompetent ass who is a scheming lunatic and a hard-core stooge as well
• Having someone incompetent sit in judgment of your work
• Coming across people who carry a big ego and superiority complex
• Dealing with people at work who are more like college friends than professional colleagues

How is Health and Happiness Related to Wealth?

Does having more wealth make you healthier and happier?

This is a question which needs deeper probing as it can help understand the psychology behind why most people stuck in their daily rut try to acquire more and more wealth.

The underlying assumption is that if you are wealthy, then you would be healthy and happy too!

Some people defer their happiness to a certain point in the future.

Their driving motivation is - "I will be happy when I have got X amount of money".

Having that X amount of money can give you financial freedom but not necessarily health and happiness.

Whichever life situation you may be, you can and should strive to remain healthy and happy.

Being healthy is about living a simple life, eating simple and wholesome food and doing some exercises regularly.

It is also important to avoid smoking and too much drinking and taking proper rest.

And finally, it is crucial for being healthy not to get overly stressed about anything at work or elsewhere.

Feeling happy is purely a state of mind.

If you love yourself, have self-esteem and self-confidence and think and do good, you can easily be happy.

It is true that the above is tough given that you are generally surrounded by a lot of negative people and a lot of negativity.

However, remaining positive at all times, especially the turbulent ones, is easier if you are healthy and happy.

It is even far easier if you are wealthy as well.

Being healthy and feeling happy is certainly correlated with being wealthy.

When your net worth is negative (means you are in debt) it will surely have adverse impact on your health and happiness.

As you wealth grows and moves above the zero level, so would your health and happiness also grow.

The marginal increase in your wealth will keep on declining as your wealth grows further and further.

After that point, increase in wealth will have zero impact on your health and happiness.

Here's how the curve of health and happiness versus wealth would typically look like:



It is important to always remember that being healthy and happy is certainly correlated with being wealthy.

Till a point of course.

And after that wealth doesn't really matter!

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Life is just about these three things - Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

Yesterday is history.

Yesterday is gone.

You can't do anything about it. Nothing.

Today is a gift.

Today is with you. Grab it. Use it nicely and judiciously.

In fact, only this very moment as you read this (only this) is with you.

The last moment is actually a part of yesterday. Similarly the very next moment is a part of tomorrow.

Tomorrow is mystery.

Tomorrow is yet to come. And it will be there tomorrow, obviously. Plan to use it well and do that for sure when it becomes "today".

Tomorrow brings with it hopes of things that will bring you joy and happiness or at times fears of things that will bring you misery and sadness.

You would love to hear only about good things and you would be eager for them to happen soon or at the right time (like the arrival of a new-born in the family).

However, life is not always good. It brings with it a lot of bad and ugly as well.

Sometimes you would anticipate bad things to happen though you may not want that (like someone terminally-ill in your family is about to die).

So always remember the following about Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.

Do not regret about yesterday but do learn from it.

Do live in today and do enjoy the time which is here and now. This time will be gone in no time!

Do no worry about tomorrow but do plan for it.

What Do You Want From Your Life?

What do you want from your life?

This is a very important question indeed. The most important perhaps.

This is what you probably want:

• Live till the age of 100 years (live very long and more importantly in extremely good health till the very last day of your life)
• Work in a place and with people who are nice (and even if that is not so, you should remain nice and use emotional detachment to stay positive and upbeat)
• Attain financial freedom (work towards reaching a state where your income from investments exceeds your expenses, month after month, till the very last month of your life)
• Take care of your family and enjoy your relationships with your spouse, kids and parents (give your family enough for them to have a safe and comfortable life)
• Be a minimalist, buy as less stuff as possible (focus on accumulating experiences over accumulating stuff)
• Adopt a spiritualistic attitude in life (remain energetic, remain nice no matter what happens in life and remember time is running out and also in the end nothing matters)

So what do you want from your life?

Write it down like above. Look at it very often. And do make sure your are living each moment fully conscious of what you want from your life.

The idea is that when your are about to die and you look back and think about how you lived it, you should have no regrets. You should actually be happy to die.

Why Staying Away From Our Parents and Kids Is So Very Scary?

We are in this world because of our parents and our kids are in this world because of us.

So there is no reason for our parents and kids not to mean so much to us. In fact, our parents and kids should mean everything to us!

Our affection for our parents and kids is completely unconditional. If something hurts them it hurts us too. This also creates an emotional weakness in us when dealing with our parents and kids.

Though staying away from our parents and kids, maybe in another city, can lead to stronger emotional bond with them the thought of living away from them is a very scary one.

Following thoughts come to the mind:

• I'll not be around to see my kids grow up
• I'll not be around when my kids are sick
• I'll not be around to comfort my wife when she needs me
• I'll not be around in case my parents pass away suddenly
• I'll not be around on my kid's birthdays
• I'll not be around on important family occasions
• I'll not be around to celebrate festivals with them
• I''ll not be around to comfort my son when he cries for me
• I'll not be around to embrace my son and hold him in my arms
• I'll not be around to touch and caress the cheeks and hands of my son
• I'll not get home-cooked food
• I'll not get clean shirts and trousers every morning
• I'll not get to talk to my wife, parents and kids when I reach home
• I'll not get the needed love and care when I fall sick

Then should you stay away from them? The answer is - no you shouldn't.

However, at times, life puts you in a strange situation where you have no choice but to stay away.

The decision to stay away is indeed a very tough one.

Staying away is scary, for sure.

At the same time, staying with your parents and kids but being in a situation that lowers your self-respect is equally or may be even more scary.

You may be handling shit in your current situation and handling shit is what you would continue to do if you don't move out of that, and that too as fast as you can.

Staying away is scary, for sure. At times, though, you have no choice. Those are really bad times.

All of us have our share of bad times. And bad times can come back again and again.

That's life. Good people are made to suffer. Bad people prosper, they get promoted.

Why Minimalism is Important in Today's World?

We are constantly bombarded with stuff and more stuff from all directions. Whether it be a mall, a retail store or a grocery website, everyone is busy trying to sell something to us.

Deep discounts, upto 80% off sale, discount coupons, gift vouchers, e-coupons, promo codes, loyalty bonus, BOGO (buy one get one) offer, BTGF (buy two get five) offer, exchange old for new, zero processing fee, EMIs at zero interest rate - this is the language of the world we live in these days.

The mantra that is being told to us repeatedly from all quarters is very simply that the purpose of life is to consume and consume.

The definition of success in the civilization we as human beings have ended up creating means the following - earn more money, buy more stuff, purchase a bigger house, buy a bigger car, eat regularly outside in expensive restaurants,  carry a fat wallet stuffed with several credit cards and swipe a card to get that latest gadget.

All the stuff we have individually procured and accumulated is leading to cluttered houses and cluttered minds. We have lost enjoying the small things in life in the pointless pursuit of more and more stuff.

The other dimension of all this is the massive destruction of earth's natural resources.

This is where minimalism comes into the picture.



Minimalism with its focus on "when less is actually more" offers a way to mankind that makes such a practical sense.

A simple yet profound question to ask is "does the Earth have enough material to produce one car for every person who will be born on this planet in the next 10000 years?". The answer is seemingly a no and a very scary one. And thus the need for minimalism.

Minimalism is not depriving oneself. Rather it is focusing on what is important and removing the rest. For every person minimalism will take a different form as what is important for one person will be so very unique to that person.

Minimalism can put brakes to the current culture of reckless consumption. Minimalism can help us determine what adds value to our life and what does not.

With the current consumption orientation that is so prevalent Earth's future is at stake. With minimalism Earth will perhaps have a much better chance to survive for the future generation of human beings.

Your Life is Lucky If You are Getting to Live It as You Would Want to Live It

The title of this post "Your Life is Lucky If You are Getting to Live It as You Would Want to Live It" looks to be too simple. It, however, carries a subtle yet very profound meaning.

Lot of people who are born, live their lives in "some manner" and finally die and depart.

At the point in life when a person is staring into the eyes of death and can sense the impending end of his life, imagine the person thinks of his whole life as a flashback scene at the end of a movie. If the flashback makes the person regret that he would have wanted to live his life in a manner other than the "some manner" he lived it, then it is clear that his life was not lucky.

A lucky life is one which embraces death happily and has no regrets at the point of death.

It is important, therefore, for you to find your true calling in life and work towards living it the way you would want to live it.

Unfortunately, you have to grapple with the harshest financial reality of life - you got to pay your bills. So if you can't find your true calling in life at this moment because of financial reasons, you should first work towards becoming financially free and then work towards finding your true calling in life and get to live it the way you would want to live it.

In case you haven't still figured out how you would want to live your life, don't fret. Carry on with whatever you may be doing right now. Use your current job to collect the seed capital to get financially free while you continue to search for your true calling in life. And the moment you find it, quit your current job and get going with the way you would really want to live it.

Remember though, your time in this universe is finite and would come to end some day, not too far distant in the future. Also try to visualize how you would feel if you were to die today and play the flashback of you life at the point you would be dead.

The above will help you to stay positive and look at whatever maybe happening in your life right now with a broader perspective with the end-game - your death - constantly staring at you. You entirely owe it to yourself to have a lucky life where you get to live it as you would want to live it.

Any perceived loss or embarrassment in your life in pursuing to live it the way you would want to live it is, in the real or any other sense, totally irrelevant at the end.

So just go for it. There is nothing more true than this that "Your Life is Lucky If You are Getting to Live It as You Would Want to Live It".

What Makes Minimalism a Powerful Way to Live Life?

In the last few decades, and especially so in the last few years, many people have experimented with minimalism and shared their wonderful and life-changing experiences.

So what is minimalism?

The meaning of minimalism is given below
(courtesy: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/minimalism).

minimalism

(ˈmɪnɪməˌlɪzəm)

n

1. (Art Movements) another name for minimal art

2. (Music, other) a type of music based on simple elements and avoiding elaboration or embellishment

3. design or style in which the simplest and fewest elements are used to create the maximum effect

The above does not directly explain the meaning of minimalism.

However, it does provide a good insight into the underlying essence of minimalism  - "based on simple elements and avoiding elaboration or embellishment".

In the above phrase "simple" should be read as "essential" and "elaboration or embellishment" should be read as "clutter".

So minimalism is a way to live your life  based on essential elements while avoiding clutter.

It is important to note that what is essential and what is clutter needs to be defined by you based on your unique understanding of life and your unique life situation.

And what makes minimalism truly a powerful way to live your life?

The key point in minimalism is to focus on experiences rather than accumulating stuff.

Another idea is to cut down the clutter in your life, adopt a simple life, consume less of stuff all around us, stay out of debt, become financially free and eventually enjoy life in a relaxed way.

The true purpose of life is not to accumulate stuff but to experience the journey of life such that when you reach the point of your death, you carry no regrets and are more than happy to embrace death.

Minimalism makes it possible for you to reach a state of mind where you can depart with a content mind and a free spirit. And this is perhaps the true purpose of your, and everybody's, life.

What Should Parents Be Telling Their Kids?

Parents are always concerned about the future of their kids. And they would generally make all possible efforts to see them grow into adults who can live independently, comfortably and safely.

What should parents be telling their kids? Whatever the parents tell should provide the kids a practical framework to conduct their life affairs, especially when they grow up and after the parents are dead and gone.

Bill Graham so rightly said the following:

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; 
when health is lost, something is lost; 
when character is lost, all is lost.

The above statements look so simple but are so profound and so very powerful that they provide a practical framework to conduct life affairs.

Character means being, first and foremost, a good person. A good person would have good manners and would be fair in dealing with others.

Health means possessing both physical and mental well-being. Being healthy would allow a person to live a long and fulfilling life.

Wealth means being able to earn and accumulate enough money. Being wealthy would allow a person to be in a position to pay for living expenses as one passes through various stages of life.

So what should parents be telling their kids? Here are some points that if told (and more importantly if followed by kids) would certainly help:

• Be a good person, first and foremost
• Take care of health, both physical and mental
• Study hard, learn as much as possible
• Earn money, as much as possible
• Learn household chores like cleaning, washing, cooking
• Learn driving and swimming

The above list provides some important practical points that help in living a good life. They focus on the very basics of life that help kids grow into adults who can live independently, comfortably and safely!